


Eyes x and x Ears

by BastetCG



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Amputees, Autism, Blind Character, Child Abuse, Deaf Character, Disabled Character, Multi, Muteness, Nonbinary Character, Roommates, Social Anxiety, Trans Character, deaf blind mute AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-10-28
Packaged: 2018-04-07 15:58:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 19,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4269366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BastetCG/pseuds/BastetCG
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Killua reached out with shaking hands and felt Gon's face.  He could tell by the roundness in his friend's ceeks that he was smiling widely.  God, Killua just wished Gon would laugh, or sigh, or say something.  Killua could feel his heart hammering in his chest and almost worried for a moment before he remembered Gon couldn't hear it.<br/>~<br/>Bisky runs a private home for disabled and displaced youth that is struggling financially.  She finds Killua, who has recently become blind, and welcomes him to the family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hello okay hey. I just want to say that I've been really struggling with my depression for the last seven months. Like I haven't written for pleasure since December, and in that time, I've finished my first year of college, changed my main fandom, and cried a lot so. I just want to open this fic with the statement that I cannot promise quick updates. I have a general idea of where this fic is going, but this is the first time I've started a fic without having a specific plan (word count, plot structure, schedule, etc.), so it'll be an adventure. I just really wanted to write, and I haven't felt that desire in a really long time so. With that said, the rating and Archive warnings might change at some point, but I really can't say yet. Anyway, here's the start I guess.

They found Killua outside the front of a Seven-Eleven.  Bisky had insisted on stopping to get Shoot another bouquet, since his last had shriveled up a week ago.  She knew the bouquets at Seven-Eleven weren’t exactly the best.  They were small and mostly dead already, but it was the best Bisky could do at the moment, and Knov knew that.  He didn’t say anything when they passed the sad looking lump of a boy, hoping Bisky wouldn’t notice.  But of course Bisky noticed him.  She took the two steps from the Seven-Eleven door to stand in front of Killua, bouquet in hand.  He sat with one leg extended, the other pulled up towards him.  His hands rested on the pavement on either side of his hips, palms up.

“Hey kid,” Bisky said.  Knov winced at the deep rumble of her voice.  Bisky was a good woman, she really was, but her first impressions tended to intimidate rather than endear.  The boy didn’t move, or even acknowledge that he’d heard her.  “Hey kid, are you okay?  Do you have a place to go?”

“Bisky,” Knov gently touched her upper arm.  They didn’t have room for another tenant.  They didn’t have the money.  She shrugged him off.

“What’s your name?”  When the boy, in his tattered sweatshirt and dirty face, inhaled sharply, Bisky crouched down and continued.  “My name’s Bisky.  I run a home for displaced kids.”

Killua began pulling himself into a ball in a flurry.  Bisky managed to put a hand on each of his shoulders and hold him upright.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t fucking touch me!” the boy screamed.  His sweatshirt hood fell back in the flurry of movement as he fought.  When he realized he wouldn’t be able to break out of Bisky’s grip, he stilled, wailed, and began to cry.

“Listen to me!  Listen!  Do you have anywhere to go?”

“No!” Killua screamed.

Bisky tossed the bouquet to Knov, who just barely caught it, then grabbed Killua under the armpits and lifted him up.  He went limp, so he was easy to manipulate.  Once Bisky had him comfortably draped on her back, his arms actually wound around her neck; she hadn’t expected him to be so receptive after his initial outburst.  She could feel his tears on her neck.  She just barely heard him say, “I’m Killua.”

“Well, Killua.  Let’s go home.”

~

Shoot smiled when Bisky handed him the bouquet.  He looked up at her for a moment to nod his thanks.  He turned his face back to the flowers in his hand and moved to the cabinets in their small kitchen. His bare feet made sticky sounds as he walked.  Gently, he placed the bouquet on its side on the countertop.  Bisky smiled.  Shoot had come a long way since he’d shown up on their doorstep four years ago.  He didn’t get offended as much anymore, even when Bisky went to his side and got the vase down from the high shelf for him.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“Not a problem, Shoot.”

He took the vase and set it by the sink. He turned on the tap, then reached for the vase and filled it.  Bisky unwrapped the flowers and began cutting the stems to fit the vase.

“You know,” Shoot began, giving Bisky a shy sideways glance, “You might be worse than Knuckle with the way you pick up strays.”  When Bisky just smiled, Shoot went on. “We can’t really afford another tenant, Bisky.  Especially one who’s physically healthy.”

Bisky laughed under her breath.  “Killua’s not “physically healthy”, Shoot.  He’s blind.”


	2. Chapter 2

Shoot smiled when Bisky handed him the bouquet.  He looked up at her for a moment to nod his thanks.  He turned his face back to the flowers in his hand and moved to the cabinets in their small kitchen. His bare feet made sticky sounds as he walked.  Gently, he placed the bouquet on its side on the countertop.  Bisky smiled.  Shoot had come a long way since he’d shown up on their doorstep four years ago.  He didn’t get offended as much anymore, even when Bisky went to his side and got the vase down from the high shelf for him.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“Not a problem, Shoot.”

He took the vase and set it by the sink. He turned on the tap, then reached for the vase and filled it.  Bisky unwrapped the flowers and began cutting the stems to fit the vase.

“You know,” Shoot began, giving Bisky a shy sideways glance, “You might be worse than Knuckle with the way you pick up strays.”  When Bisky just smiled, Shoot went on. “We can’t really afford another tenant, Bisky.  Especially one who’s physically healthy.”

Bisky laughed under her breath.  “Killua’s not “physically healthy”, Shoot.  He’s blind.”

~

Bisky led Killua into his new room and sat him down on what felt like a bed.  He wasn’t sure what the room or really much the home looked like, other than what Bisky had quietly described to him as she led him through.  She withdrew her hand from his.

“Gon,” Bisky called.  There was no response, but Bisky continued as if there had been.  “This is Kill-u-a.  He can’t see.  He’s going to be your new roommate.  Will you be willing to help him around the house?”

Again, there was no response, but this time bedsprings creaked from across the room.  Bisky voice turned back to Killua.

“Killua this is Gon.  Gon is deaf and mute.  He’ll help you if you need it.”

Killua swallowed thickly and clenched his teeth.  “How is he supposed to help me if he can’t hear and I can’t see?”

“Gon’s pretty good at reading lips, and we’ll get you started on sign language as soon as possible.  Gon isn’t the only deaf person here, so you’ll need it regardless.”  Something, or rather someone sat down next to Killua.  He startled a little, but a hand about the size of his own grabbed him.

“Gon says he’ll help you learn sign language too.  He’s going to introduce himself,” Bisky explained.

Gon put Killua’s white hands around his own darker one and slowly spelt out his name.

_G-O-N…G-O-N…G-O-N…_

“Do you understand what he’s telling you?” Bisky asked.

“Are those the letters of his name?” The fist between Killua’s hands shook twice.  “Was that a yes?”

“See?  Sign language isn’t that hard.”

Gon’s other hand joined his first between Killua’s hands and he began saying something else.  Killua turned toward where Bisky’s voice had come from for a translation.

“He wants to know what you want for dinner.”

“I-I don’t know.  I’m not picky.”  There was a pause, so Bisky could clarify the sentence for Gon.  The hand began moving again.

“He says he’ll take you around the room so you can feel everything if you want.”

Killua reached out a hand to make sure he was facing Gon.  “That…would be…nice,” he said awkwardly.

“Don’t do that,” Bisky said.  “If you exaggerate, it’s actually harder for him to read your lips.  Just don’t talk super-fast and he should be able to understand.

“That would be nice,” Killua said again, normally this time.

He couldn’t see it, but Bisky was smiling at them from the door.  They made quite the picture there on the bed, with how different they looked.  While Killua was one of the palest people Bisky had ever seen in both complexion and hair color, Gon’s lineage was still a mystery to Bisky as well as to Gon.  Bisky suspected that he was Hispanic, or possibly some Pacific Islander.  Regardless of their differences Bisky could see that tehy would get along just fine, at least for the time being.  One of Killua’s hands was tracing the surface of the wall and anything else in his path, the other firmly nestled in Gon’s hand.  It was good news really, Bisky thought to herself.  She had thought about moving Meruem and putting Killua in his old room with Komugi, but it hadn’t taken much thought to realize that separating Meruem from his best friend was not a good idea.

“I’ll leave you two to it then,” she signed and said.  “Dinner will be done soon.  If you’re hungry, just tell Gon and he’ll show you the way.”  She pushed off the door frame and turned toward the kitchen.

“Bisky!” Killua said loudly.

“Yeah?”  She paused for a moment, between steps.

“Thank you.”

“Not a problem, Killua.”

~

“You picked up another one?”  Kite was stirring the noodles in the pot next to Bisky as she stirred the meat.  Their kitchen was cramped with both of them huddled over the stove and Leorio setting the breadstick dough out on a sheet pan at the table behind them.  “You’re gonna give me another stroke,” Kite joked.  Leorio laughed, but Bisky just shot him a look.

She sighed.  “He was blind and scared and I couldn’t exactly just leave him there.  So we had to make him wait a little while Knov added an extra bed to that tiny-ass room.  So we’re gonna have to cut corners a little closer than we already do.  That’s fine with me if it means he won’t be sleeping on the streets.”

“Bisky,” Kite said seriously.  “When you say cut corners closer than usual, please tell me you’re not thinking of stopping your estrogen.”

“Look, Kite-” she started.

“I’ll gladly skip a few meals if it means you get your hormones,” Leorio interrupted.  “You know hunger doesn’t bother me.”

“Leorio, I swear to God, if you say something that stupid to me ever again, I’m gonna use Kurapika’s arm to smack you.” Leorio smiled at her and went back to his dough.

“All jokes aside,” Kite sighed, “I’m with Leorio.  If some of us older tenants have to give up a meal or two, it’s not that big of a deal.  But you just got used to being on your hormones.  You shouldn’t have to give them up now.”

“We’ll see how it goes, okay?  We might not even be qualified to take care of him.  There’s probably a lot more going on with him than we know.”

“Isn’t there always?” Kite rubbed the bad side of his face, then pulled his hat a little further over it.

“He’s physically stronger than he looks.  I had to actually restrain him at one point.  And he’s had to have been through some shit to be cortically blind.”

“Hmm.  You said it was recent too, right?  That’s gonna be rough transition for him.”

“Yeah.  He’s gonna have to learn Braille and sign language.  But I think Gon will be good for him.  They seemed to get along.”

“They just met,” Kite pointed out.  “They could hate each other by the end of the week.”

“Then we’ll move some people around.”  Bisky heard Leorio cough.  “Don’t worry, we won’t break you and lover-boy up,” she teased.  Leorio just smiled again.

“Hot plate,” Kite said as he stepped away from the oven, pot in hand.  Bisky leaned into the stove to let him pass and he drained the noodles.  They finished the rest of the prep silently.

~

Killua didn’t come to dinner, but Bisky hadn’t expected him to.  She caught a glimpse of Gon, breadstick half crammed in his mouth, in the kitchen loading up two plates full of pasta and meat, though.  She stood from the table just while Kite was getting to the good part of his story.  Bisky nodded at Kite to finish without her and left the table.  Gon looked up when she entered the kitchen.

“How is it going?” she signed for him.  He put the plates down, but the breadstick stayed in his mouth.

“Good I think.  He hasn’t said much.  I think he wants to ask questions, but I can’t really answer them.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll get him signing in no time.  I’ll have Palm start with him tomorrow.”

“He wants to take a shower.”

“Could you show him the baths after he finishes eating?”

“Yes.”

“You might have to bathe with him the first few times.”

“I don’t know how he’ll feel about that.”

“I can explain it to him if he puts up a fight.”

“Okay.  I’m going to go give him his food now.”

“Thank you, Gon.”

“It’s not a problem!”

She smiled after him as he walked out with the two big plates of food.  Yeah.  Gon should be good for Killua.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably mention that cortical blindness is something that usually comes from trauma to the occipital lobe of the brain, located at the rear base of the skull. Therefore, Killua's eyes appear normal, and technically, his eyes can see. However, his brain cannot make sense of the images and while he may be able to distinguish bright light and color, he is functionally blind. It's actually a very interesting condition, and many times, once swelling in the brain decreases, many sufferers make a full recovery! You can read more here if you're interested https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cortical_blindness

It turned out that Killua was fine taking a bath with Gon.  He had agreed as enthusiastically as Gon expected he could at the moment.  Bisky followed them into the bathrooms to get Killua set up with the rest of his things while Gon got the bath running.  Once Bisky was out of the bathroom, Gon and Killua began to strip.  Gon couldn’t help staring at Killua’s back.  He’d never seen such pale skin before!  Or rather, he’d never seen so much pale skin out in the open like that.  In fact, Killua almost blended into the white and blue tile decorating the bathroom.  He reached out without thinking and poked one of the purple flowers blooming under the skin on Killua’s back.  Gon pulled away when Killua stiffened.

Killua began to reach around with his own hands and tentatively press on his own skin. He didn’t seem too concerned about them when he managed to hone in on the bruise Gon had initially touched.  He turned to Gon and said “Are there any more?”

Gon was more careful this time.  He reached slowly, and pressed slower.  He gave Killua a moment each time Gon’s fingers touched his skin.  There were five total that Gon could find on Killua’s torso.

“Thank you,” was all Killua said.  Gon made a mental note to tell Bisky as soon as they were done.  Killua didn’t seem to think much of the bruises, but he wouldn’t be the first one to act like abuse was commonplace.  Killua put his hands out and started stepping toward the bathtub.  Gon grabbed both his hands and stopped him before he could trip over anything.  Then Gon side-stepped into the tub and helped Killua in.

When Gon started washing his hair, he figured he should help Killua too, like Leorio used to do when Gon was little.  At the very first touch, Killua sun around.  If he had been making eye contact with Gon instead of at the tile next to his head, the look he was giving Gon might have been intimidating.

“I can do it myself.”

“Sorry,” Gon responded, even though Killua wouldn’t understand.  The bath continued in silence until Killua needed his back washed, for which he begrudgingly accepted Gon’s help.  Afterwards, Gon put the wash cloth in Killua’s hand and made him return the favor, even if Killua couldn’t actually see if he was missing spots.  When they got out of the tub, Gon got each of them a towel then gathered their dirty clothes from the floor.  He took Killua’s hand and led him back to their room.  While Gon got dressed and ruffled his hair with the towel, Killua just stood there, dripping on the floor.  Gon approached him and gently touched him, hoping his question would go through.

“Where are my clothes?”

Gon patted him and smiled, even though Killua couldn’t see him.  He went back to his own dresser and pulled out a black tank top, some new underwear, and a pair of pajama pants.  He shoved them into Killua’s hands and waited expectantly.  Killua just stood there holding the articles in one hand.  Gon sighed dramatically.  He took the clothes out of Killua’s hands again and presented him with the underwear once again.  Just the underwear.

“Oh, these are underwear.”  He turned a little, probably to shield himself from where he thought Gon was, dropped his towel and pulled the underwear up his legs.  “Are they on the right way?”

Gon took a step forward and put his fist to Killua’s side and signed “Yes”.  He handed Killua the sleep pants next, which Killua took a while feeling.  He even fumbled his way to his bed and sat to examine it further.  Gon watched, enraptured by how long Killua’s fingers were.  His hands fiddled around the hem of each leg, along the inseam, then the waistband.  He finally found the tie at the front of the pants and he lit up.  Standing, he pulled the pants on with little issue.

He held out a hand and stared straight forward.  Gon jumped, having forgotten he was more than a spectator, and handed him the tank top.  After feeling it like he had done with the pants, Killua put it on.  Gon stopped him before he could move and fought to push Killua’s arms back through the arm holes.

“Is it on backwards?”

Gon signed “Yes” against his chest this time.  It was almost like he was knocking on Killua’s ribs and asking for entrance.  Gon smiled at the thought.  Killua managed to get the tank top on right with only a little struggle after that.

They went back to the bathroom to brush their teeth and use the toilet before bed.  Gon had watched Killua closely, looking for any signs that perhaps he needed help, but the only times he had to intervene were when Killua had overestimated the length of his tooth brush and almost made a mess on the floor with the tooth paste, and when he Gon to guide him to the toilet, then back to the sink.

Gon got Killua to his bed then went to get Bisky to tuck them in.  She started with Gon.  He pulled his hands out from under the covers and signed “Killua has bruises everywhere.  I think he was hurt.”

Bisky turned toward Killua and said something.  Killua, who was still sitting up in his bed seemed surprised, but responded with little more emotional expression.  Bisky nodded then turned back to Gon.

“Killua got them in a fight with his brother.  They both practice taekwondo and he got them in a practice match.”

“So he wasn’t being hurt?”

“You know I can’t say that.  But probably not physically.  Go to sleep, Diamond.”

Gon smiled at the nickname, and Bisky leaned down to give him a kiss on the forehead.  She went to Killua.  They exchanged a few words, but Bisky didn’t tuck Killua in before moving to the door and turning out the lights.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh I just want to say thank you to everyone who's commented on this so far!!! I've been meaning to respond to everyone, but I'm honestly a little overwhelmed by the sheer number of positive comments I've received! So I will try and answer the ones I can soon. Again, thank you for your support!

Killua didn’t fall asleep easily that night.  Obviously it was difficult falling asleep in a new place, but the idea of closing his eyes and ultimately seeing the same thing was disturbing.  He laid on his back listening to Gon’s breath from across the room.  Killua didn’t like relying on Gon.  Killua didn’t like relying on anyone, especially not someone who had it worse than he did.  God, what was Bisky thinking putting a blind kid in with a kid who couldn’t talk or hear?  Whatever.  It didn’t matter much anyway.  Killua wouldn’t be staying here long.  He still had stuff to do.

He was grateful for clean sheets and a clean body though.  How long had it been since he’d showered last?  He counted backwards as best as he could.  Things got a little hazy between the blow to his head and losing Alluka.  He lost Alluka.

A crippling wave of shame and anger washed over him.  His fists clenched in the sheets and he silently argued with himself.

“There was no way I could have stopped it, I’m only fifteen.”

“You’re her big brother, you should have been looking out for her.”

“I can’t even see!  How the hell was I supposed to save her and myself?”

“You left her behind.  Even if you couldn’t see, you should have protected her.”

“I would have slowed her down!  If anything, she should have run the moment we got out of there.”

“You’re right.  You should have been the one who got caught.  She should have run.”

“I couldn’t help her!”

The argument circled violently in his head as he ran through every error and every excuse he could.  He noticed his breathing had picked up.  He forced out a shaky breath through his lips and released his rigid hold on the sheets.  He didn’t need to think about that right now.  He needed to come up with a plan to get her back.  He yawned.

He should sleep.  He hadn’t gotten any in the last few days, mainly because he hadn’t had time or a safe place to do so.  But he felt strangely comfortable in this place, wherever it was.  No, it wasn’t so much that he felt comfortable, just…safe.  Yeah, that was the best way to describe it.  It didn’t set off his fight or flight reflex, and that was probably the best he could ask for right now.  He was clean.  The bed was clean.  The air wasn’t musty here.  His roommate was simple and trustworthy from what he could suss out.  Not like he had anything worth stealing.  He didn’t think Gon would try and hurt him during the night either.

God, Killua sighed, Gon had seen him naked.  That wasn’t that big a deal, considering that Gon had been naked too, but it still felt unfair.  Killua didn’t even know what Gon’s face looked like.  He could sort of estimate Gon’s height from where Gon tended to touch him.  They were probably about the same height.  It wasn’t fair that Gon knew what Killua looked like naked, but Killua couldn’t even use the sound of Gon’s voice to balance out the give-and-take.  It really wasn’t a big deal though, Killua told himself.  Afterall, he was the one that had forgotten he couldn’t see now.  And after years of taking baths with his siblings…and it’s not like Killua was ashamed of his body…and how else was he supposed…

Killua didn’t get to finish that thought before his fluttered closed and he finally let himself fall asleep.

~

Leorio sat on his bed, across the room from Kurapika.  Leorio liked to watch how fluid Kurapika’s movements were despite the fact that he was missing an arm.  Kurapika was writing something in a journal, which was a nightly ritual for him.  His prosthetic was lying on the bed.  There were still red marks around Kurapika’s side and shoulders from the straps.

“Oh shit,” Leorio suddenly remembered.  He clumsily scrabbled to pull his legs up to where he could reach them.  He might not have been as flowy as Kurapika, but Leorio prided himself for his steady hands.  He undid the straps on his leg braces and slid them off.

“How do you always forget to take them off?” Kurapika said without looking up.

“Just talented, I guess,” Leorio smiled.  He let his legs drop back over the edge of the bed.  “What are you writing about tonight?”

“The new boy.  Have you seen him yet?”

“No.  He didn’t come down for dinner tonight.”

“He looks uncomfortably like Komugi.”

“He’s blind like her too.”

Kurapika tapped his pencil against his lips.  “Not quite.  Komugi has been blind since birth.”

“Yeah, that’s true.”

“I didn’t like the look in his eyes.”

“What do you mean?”

“They were…unfocused,” Kurapika said more to himself than to Leorio, “It was like he’d seen too much.  They were normal, blue, but they weren’t looking right.”

“Like he wasn’t looking in the right direction?”

“No, it wasn’t that.  They just weren’t…looking right.”  He turned in his chair to look at Leorio directly for the first time that night.  “I’m not making any sense, am I?”

Leorio just smiled again, and rubbed the back of his neck.  “Not really.  But I kind of like it when you babble.”  Kurapika rolled his eyes and went back to writing, but Leorio caught him smiling when he thought Leorio wasn’t looking.  After a small pause, Leorio sighed and said, “You know, another person staying here means you might not be able to get that new prosthetic as soon as you’d planned.”

“I know.”

“Does that bother you?”

Kurapika shrugged.  “I can’t say I’m not a little bitter, but I’m not going to let it taint my impression of the new boy.”

“His name’s Killua.”

“Hmm.”  Kurapika’s hand began moving across the page quickly, and he seemed very focused on the words following his pencil tip, but Leorio knew he was mentally crunching figures and rounding off decimals.  Suddenly he wipped back around to face Leorio again.  “Don’t pull that shit where you just stop eating again, you hear me?  You scared everyone to death last time, and I don’t want to be taking care of you like that again, okay?  Also did you take your supplements today?”

Turning so he could lie down in his bed, Leorio laughed.  “Bisky already threatened me about that, don’t worry.  And yes, Mom, I took my medicine today.”

“Hmph,” Kurapika scowled.

“Hey, I can’t help that the world runs on money,” Leorio responded.  “But I can make our money last a little longer.”  Kurapika raised an eyebrow at him.  “Not that I’m _going_ to this time.  Geez.”

“And if I see any strange jumps in my savings jar…”

“Listen,” Leorio said.  Kurapika pursed his lips and stood.

“I’m turning out the light.  Good night, Leorio.”

“What?  No good night kiss?”

Kurapika rolled his eyes again and flicked the light off.


	5. Chapter 5

Killua couldn’t tell if he was awake at first.  It was still so surreal opening his eyes and not being able to distinguish anything from anything else.  On a physical level, he knew he was seeing.  Sometimes he could see colors or lights, and he could fully articulate what he was seeing, but everything was blurry and then it was gone.  Right now there was no light and there was no color.  The only reason he knew he was awake was because he could feel Gon’s hands on him.

“What time is it?” he asked as he pushed the covers off himself.  He felt Gon’s hands leave his shoulders.  Gon pressed a hand into Killua’s chest.  Killua looked down and tried to figure out what a sign like that could even mean.

“Is…is it three?  In the morning?”

Gon let out a small huff through his nose.  He pressed his hand against Killua’s chest again, this time with his pointer finger out, then again with a second finger, then a third.

  1.   Gon was counting.



Four, five.  A second hand joined the first and Gon continued.  Six, seven, eight, nine.  Then he removed his hands from Killua’s chest.

“It’s nine.”

Gon nodded his hand so that Killua could feel it.

“Is that what that first sign meant?”

Another nod.

“Oh.”

Gon grabbed Killua’s hand, and his feet slapped on the floor as he hopped off the bed.  Killua didn’t have much choice but to follow.  They definitely moved out of their room, and from what Killua could feel, they were headed towards the bathroom.  The walk was longer than Killua remembered, and he was about to stop Gon and ask where they were, or rather guess until Gon could affirm his guesses, but then he heard voices, water running and dishes clinking.

“Oh, good to see you’re both up.  I was just about to send Leorio to go get you,” Killua heard a feminine voice say.  Gon let go of Killua’s hand to respond.

“Why don’t you two just go ahead and sit at the table?  Let Killua feel his way around the room and such before breakfast starts.”

“Wh-what’s for breakfast?”  Killua managed to ask.  He didn’t know who this person was or if they could even hear him.  After all, Bisky had said Gon wasn’t the only deaf person living here, right?

“You’re gonna love it!  I got some really special eggs from the store this morning, and I’m scrambling them in butter.  And there’s bread in the oven!  And I’m gonna fry up some sausages in a minute.  Do you like bacon?  Sorry, I get really excited about food,” the woman said. Then she laughed a little nervously.

“It’s okay.  I like bacon.”

“Oh, good!  I’ll make some just for you then!  Did I catch your name?”

“I’m Killua.”

“Menchi,” she shot back.

“You’re scaring him, Menchi!  Just look at his face!” A deeper voice came from behind Killua and Gon.  Killua must have visibly jumped, because the man put a large hand on his shoulder.  “Shit, now I’m scaring him.  Sorry, kid.  Lemme just get around you here.”

“Morel, can’t you wait?  You take up the whole kitchen!” another voice said, Killua whipped his head back around.  This person sounded like they were at the sink, which was past where Menchi was standing.  He was probably the one washing dishes then, Killua reasoned.

“You wanna fight, Leorio?”

“I’ll take you on any day, old man!”

“I’m not fighting a cripple.”

“You were the one who asked!”

The larger man, Morel, gently pressed around Killua and Gon and opened the fridge door.  Some bottles clinked and the door shut with a hiss.

“Yeah, well what can I say?  Old habits die hard.”

“Are you saying you fought a lot of cripples out in the streets?” yet another voice asked.

“Not at all!” Morel laughed.  The metallic _ka-shk_ of a pop-top bottle being opened punctuated his words.  “Didn’t I just say I don’t fight cripples?  I’m just saying the urge to fight doesn’t exactly go away.”  Killua could tell from his voice that he was smiling, but he could also hear the truthfulness in his tone.  Killua definitely knew what this man was talking about.

“Is breakfast ready yet?” another feminine voice asked.  Killua couldn’t take it anymore.

“How many people are in this freaking kitchen?” he exclaimed.  It was silent for a beat, and Killua could practically feel everyone’s eyes on him.  Suddenly the deepest voice, which Killua now knew belonged to Morel, began to laugh.

“I forgot you’re new to this.  Kurapika, Melody, let’s go ahead and wait upstairs.  He’s probably getting overwhelmed.”

“I’ll just go back to my room if you don’t mind.” The softest voice said.  “My arthritis is acting up again.”

“Suit yourself,” Morel sighed.  A chair scratched across the floor as someone else stood up.  A few sets of footsteps faded out of hearing range.

“There’s only four of us in here now,” Menchi’s voice said.  It’s just you, me, Gon, and Leorio.  Is that okay?”

“It’s fine,” Killua snapped.  The sink shut off and someone began walking towards him and Gon.  Their steps were shaky and metallic for some reason.  Killua closed himself off as best he could.

“I ought to introduce myself properly.  I’m Leorio.”  A large hand took one of Killua’s and shook it very professionally.

“Killua,” he mumbled back.  Leorio laughed and dropped his hand. For some reason Gon grabbed it as soon as it fell.  Killua turned his head to look at Gon before he remembered that was pointless.  He turned his head back towards Leorio’s voice, hoping he was at least close to making eye contact.  “Why do your footsteps sound like that?”

“Ah…my leg braces.  I’ve got shitty legs.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Not your problem.  I got lucky actually.  Everyone else here has at least twelve more problems than I do.”  Again, Killua oculd tell he was smiling, joking about it, but there was porbably some truth behind his words.

“Leorio!” Menchi scolded.

“What?”

“Please don’t call starving lucky.”  She was quiet.  This was important to her, Killua deduced.

“Shit, I’m sorry Menchi.  I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s okay, it’s just-”

“It wasn’t okay.  It was insensitive.  I’m sorry.  I’ll try not to forget again, okay?”

There was a slight pause in which there was probably some kind of silent exchange of meaningful glances.  Gon squeezed Killua’s hand for some reason.  Finally Menchi broke the silence with a playful tone.

“God, if you weren’t so head-over-heels for Kurapika, yo’d have to beat me off with a stick!  He doesn’t deserve someone as nice as you!”

Leorio laughed and shot back, “Too bad then, isn’t it? Oh, Gon don’t make that face.”

“What face is he making?” Killua asked quietly.  He hated that he was curious and he hated that he had to ask.

“He’s sticking out his tongue and acting like we’re being gross,” Leorio said with a smile.  “That’s some look coming from the boy holding onto his new friend like he’s never seen another kid his age.”

Gon squeezed Killua’s hand then dropped it to sign back at Leorio.  Both Menchi and Leorio laughed,and Menchi translated for Killua.

“He said it’s not his fault everyone else around here is ancient.”  Gon took Killua’s hand in his own again.  Killua could feel his face heating up so he looked down.  A timer suddenly went off.  Killua heard an oven opening and closing as well as a sheet pan being set down on a counter.

“Hey, can you check and see if Melody’s door is closed?” Menchi asked.

“Yeah gimme a sec,” Leorio responded.  A few shaky steps and an affirmation later, and Menchi was screaming.

“Breakfast! Come and get it if you’re hungry!  It’s eggs and sausage!”

Gon was pulling Killua out of the kitchen by the time the yelling was over.  Gon put Killua’s hand on the back of a chair and let Killua seat himself, then sat down next to him and put a hand on Killua’s shoulder so Killua knew where he was.  After that, so many people suddenly entered the room that Killua lost track of everyone but Gon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is gonna introduce anyone else who hasn't shown up yet, so you'll all get to see who else lives in this giant house oh boy


	6. Chapter 6

“We’ll go around the table if that’s okay with you, Killua.”  Bisky sat at the head of the table like always, with all the other tenants seated down the bench on one side of the table, in chairs on the other, and at the other end sat Menchi.  The only one missing this morning was Shoot, but Bisky had kind of expected that.  He didn’t do well with new people, and having everyone’s attention on him, even just for an introduction would probably cause a breakdown.  Killua was sitting in his spot, between Bisky and Gon.

“It’s fine, I guess.”

“You already know Gon.  But I’ll give you a little more information about him, since he can’t tell you himself.”

“Okay.”

“Gon was born deaf.  His mother’s identity is unknown, and his father was absent for the majority of his life.  He was raised by his aunt and grandmother, but both contracted malaria and died.  Through some miracle, Gon ended up here.”  She smiled at Gon, who was purposefully avoiding looking at her hands and mouth.  It wasn’t often that Gon got bashful, so Bisky reveled in it for a moment.  “Gon,” she made sure she got in his field of vision before continuing.  “Is there anything else you’d like to tell Killua about yourself?”

“No,” Gon signed back at her.

“Alright, then who’s next?”

“My name’s Kite.  I had a severe stroke a few years ago, and I’m still working to regain function in my right side.”  Kite was always a little contrite, but Bisky couldn’t let him get off easy this time.

“He’s got really long hair and a bird nose, if that helps,” she teased.  She counted it as a victory when Killua let out a small giggle.

“I don’t have a bird nose,” he muttered and signed back.  Palm laughed out loud, but tried to cover her mouth before it came out.  She wasn’t successful.  “Alright then, Miss One Eye Wonder.  Why don’t you go next?”

“Alright,” she said.  “I’m Palm, I’m deaf and blind in my left eye.  I lost my hearing and my eye when I was seventeen and got attacked in the forest by some animal.”

“What animal?” Killua asked.  Everyone always asked.

“Don’t know.  Probably some kind of puma or other big cat.  I never actually saw it.  It got me from behind and I don’t remember much after that.”

“Oh.”

“I’m Meruem.  I’m autistic.”

“Meruem, you have to wait your turn,” Komugi softly reprimanded.

“When’s my turn?”

“It’s okay, Komugi.  He can go now,” Bisky smiled.  Komugi nodded and looked back down at the small boy beside her.

“It’s your turn now Meruem.”

“I’m Meruem.  I’m autistic.  It’s your turn Komugi.”

“I’m Komugi.  I’ve been blind since birth.  Meruem and I were in a foster home together before this, but Knov saved us and brought us here.”

Knov coughed uncomfortably.  Killua turned his head towards the noise.

“Knov was there when you picked me up, right?”

“Yes,” replied Bisky.  “Go on then Knov.”

“Alright then.  Um, I have severe parietal lobe damage and PTSD.”

“Parietal lobe damage means Knov has a very difficult time reading, writing, or doing mathematics.  He also tends to run into doors.  It’s pretty funny,” Bisky said with a gentle nudge to Killua’s shoulder.  Everyone, even Knov, laughed.  He tried to act offended, but with the way his lips curved, Bisky knew he was having just as good a time as everyone else.  Besides, Knov’s complete unawareness of his body was something Killua would need to be aware of.

“I’m Menchi.  I’m a recovering anorexic.  I make a lot of the meals around here, so if you ever want something special, you just let me know.”

“Oh, she made a cake for Komugi last year that was amazing!” Palm butted in.  Menchi grinned and did her best to look humble.  “It was three layers and looked like a stylized Gungi board.  And it was chocolate and vanilla and the frosting was to die for!”

“D-do you ever make candy?” Killua asked.  Ah, so he had a sweet-tooth.  Bisky tucked that piece of knowledge away for later.

“Yeah.  I’m actually pretty handy at making chocolates.  You can even have some if you help!”

Killua nodded very somberly, even though he wasn’t even looking where Menchi was sitting.

Leorio growled, “Well, I guess I’m next.  We already met in the kitchen, but I’m Leorio and I didn’t get enough food as a kid, so now my legs are all bent out of place.  At least you’ll always know when I’m trying to sneak up on you, huh kid?”

“It’s nice to meet you again, Rio-rio,” Killua said.

“Leorio,” he corrected.

“What did I say?” asked Killua.

“You said Rio-rio.”

“Oh.”

“Anyway, this is Kurapika, my wife.”

“I’m not your wife,” Kurapika said very calmly.  They did this every time they had to introduce themselves.  “We’re not even engaged.  I can’t be your wife if I don’t have a ring on my finger.”

“Kurapika’s missing an arm,” Leorio informed Killua.  “He lost it to some pretty heavy gang violence.”

“I don’t like talking about it much,” Kurapika finished for himself.

“Oh,” Killua repeated.

“I’m Knuckle.  I don’t actually have anything wrong with me.  I took over for Knov after he got hurt.  I don’t live here, I just help out a little and I keep an eye out for anyone who might need our services.”

“Don’t let him fool you with his tough talk, Killua,” Bisky whispered and signed.  “He’s the biggest softy around here.  He takes his own portions of food and gives them to the stray dogs out back.”

“I heard that!”

“My name’s Morel.”

“You’re the big guy,” Killua said.

Morel laughed and nodded.  “Yeah, I guess so.  I’m a recovering drug addict.  Clean for four years, but I still got some issues to work through.”

Finally it was Melody’s turn.  In her soft voice, she introduced herself.  “My name is Melody.  I had Lyme disease that went untreated for a very long time, so I have pretty severe arthritis, and my ears are extremely sensitive.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Killua said softly.  He turned to Bisky and asked, “How many people live here?”

Bisky grinned and chuckled to herself.  “With you?  I think it’s fourteen.  That is if you don’t count Knuckle, since he doesn’t actually live here.”

“Fourteen…”

“Shoot isn’t here this morning.  He’s got really bad anxiety.  You’ll meet him eventually,” Knuckled said from his seat on the bench.

“How big is this house?” Killua sounded incredulous now.  It must have been pretty confusing for him since he had absolutely no point of reference for anything other than his room and possibly the bathroom.

“Uhh, I forget the square footage, but it’s pretty big.  It used to be a small faculty building before the University got shut down, I think.  There’s, what? Eight bedrooms, four bathrooms, the kitchen, this room, the common room, and a few other small rooms.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Hey, Bisky!” Leorio said.  She rolled her eyes.  He had that big stupid grin on his face that he always wore when he got an idea.  “You didn’t introduce yourself!”

“I guess I didn’t.  Hello Killua.  I’m Biscuit.  I’m a trans woman, and I run this hell hole.”

Killua went stiff.  Bisky hoped he wouldn’t be one of those children who hated what their parents told them too.  But the look on Killua’s face was definitely strange.  It was some kind of mix between fear and shame.  His mouth opened and closed a few times, like he was going to say something, but nothing came out.

“Is everything okay, Killua?” she asked.  He swallowed and nodded.

“It’s fine.  Hey Gon, can you take me to the bathroom?”

Gon took Killua’s hand and led him out of the room.  As soon as they were gone, Kurapika turned to Bisky and said, “If he’s got a problem with trans people, or queer people in general, it might be best he doesn’t stay here.”

Bisky just nodded.  That was definitely something that needed to be addressed immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry this chapter was so boring, but I felt it was important to at least get all the tenants out there, just so that when they show up at later times, they don't just come out of nowhere...


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!!warning for mentions of violence!!!! Also, Killua has some problems remembering so if unreality bothers you, here's a warning for that too i guess!!!! This chapter turned out really dramatic so like i'm kind of ://// but I mean we'll see

An unavoidable wave of nausea had crashed over Killua when Bisky had spoken. He had assumed she was a man, due to her voice and the fact that she carried him from the convenience store last night.  He made it to the bathroom with Gon’s help, but when he took the toilet bowl in his hands, he couldn’t actually bring any bile up.  Mentally, the nausea remained.  He felt foggy and shaky, but his body was carrying on like normal.

“Where am I?”  He knew there was someone else in the room with him, but he couldn’t remember who it was.  It was probably Kalluto.  “Where are we?” he asked again, a little more forcefully.  “Why can’t I see?”

He didn’t get an answer, so he stood and turned.

“Why can’t I see!”  He reached his hands out.  He could feel his fingers twitching.  Maybe he wanted to strangle his little brother.  I wouldn’t be the first time.  Surprise overtook his anger when a pair of hands reached out and grabbed his softly.

“Who are you?”  Kalluto wouldn’t have such rough hands that pressed so gently.  The person took both of Killua’s hands and made shaped with his hands.

“G…O…N… Gon.  Gon!”  The hand nodded.  That meant yes.  “Gon.  That’s right.  Gon.  I need.  Take me to the kitchen.  Please.”  Killua needed to get back to his parent’s house.  He needed to get Alluka.  Maybe he could even convince Kalluto to come with them.  Gon took his hand and led him to the sink, then splashed Killua’s face with cold water.  Then he handed Killua a towel to dry his face off with.

“Thank you.”

Gon led him down to the kitchen, silent as always.  Killua let his hands trace along the walls of the hallways.  Maybe he’d come back once he got his siblings out of that house.  No.  They couldn’t stay here. Knov had said they didn’t even have room for Killua.  There’d never be enough room for two more, or even one for that matter.  It didn’t matter.  What mattered was getting Alluka out of that awful place.  That was first priority.

They stopped, so Killua assumed that they were in the kitchen.  “Where’s the pantry?”  Gon pulled him a few steps further and opened a small cupboard.  Killua squatted down next to him, trying to ignore the sounds of chatting and laughter coming from the dining room.  Breakfast wasn’t done apparently.

Killua turned to face Gon and said, “Are there grocery bags around here somewhere?”

Gon’s fist nodded into Killua’s side.

“Can you get me one?”

He heard Gon stand, then felt his presence disappear.  Killua just started grabbing things.  Gon came back a minute later with a bag that felt like burlap or some kind of woven synthetic crap.  Whatever.  It took a few second of fiddling, but Killua managed to find the opening and dump the food in his arms into the bag.  Gon disappeared, so Killua stood and slowly made his way back towards the kitchen door.  He didn’t really know where he was going other than that.  If he wandered around enough, he was sure he’d find a door out.  He hefted the bag onto his shoulder and felt his way into what seemed to be yet another hallway.

It wasn’t long until he heard a flurry of footsteps coming towards him.  He picked up speed and almost thought about dropping the food.  He’d just started running when a large hand latched onto his shoulder.

“Where are you going?”

“Don’t touch me!”  Killua tried to shake her off, but it was hopeless.

“You’re worrying Gon.  Where are you going?” A smaller hand pressed against Killua’s.  Gon must have come with Bisky then.

“I have to go back!”

“Where do you have to go?”

“Home!  Let me go!”

“Killua.  You are two steps from a wall. If I hadn’t grabbed you just now, you’d have another lump on your head to match this one.”  Bisky pressed a finger into the base of Killua’s skull, just where his neck connected.  He gasped at the dull throb.  “Why do you need to go home so bad, huh?  What’s waiting for you there?”

“Alluka!  I have to get Alluka!”

“Killua, calm down.” Killua hadn’t realized he was crying, until somebody was wiping his cheeks.  “Killua, I don’t know who Alluka is but they sound very important to you.  If you’ll calm down for a second, we can go into one of the empty rooms and talk about this.  I just need you to calm down.”

“I’m fine!”  Bisky’s hand left his shoulder, taking the bag with all the food in it.  “I’m fine.”  Gon squeezed Killua’s hand and tucked his arm a little under Killua’s to stand a little closer.

“Follow me, okay?  We’ll talk about this.”

Killua let Gon lead him wherever it was they were going.  He had no idea where he was anymore, but he didn’t care.  His head still felt fuzzy.  He wanted to go back to the bathroom and try to throw up again.  A few more steps and Gon carefully pulled him on a leather couch of some sort.  A door closed, and it sounded like Bisky sat down on a leather seat a few feet away.

“So who is Alluka?”

“Sh-she’s my sister.”

“And she’s back at home?”

“Probably.”

“Why do you need to get her so badly?”

“Because my family treats her like shit.”

“I see.  So what were you planning, then?  No, Gon.  He needs to see how ridiculous his plan was.  Tell us, Killua?  What exactly was your plan?”

“I was going to…I was-”  He cut himself off.  He had no plan.  Bicky was right; his plan was absolutely ridiculous.  “I wasn’t thinking straight.”

Bisky didn’t answer right away.  Killua had to assume that Gon was talking to her, since he wasn’t holding Killua’s hand anymore.

“Gon says you had a moment in the bathroom where you didn’t remember him, is that right?”  Killua just nodded.  “Hmmm.  That’s not uncommon for head injuries.  Knov sometimes forgets things like that too.”  Killua heard the leather squeaking as Bisky leaned back.  She chuckled softly.  “Do you know what you grabbed out of the pantry, Killua?”  When he didn’t answer, she continued.  “You have here a box of pancake mix, a bottle of olive oil and four cans of pinto beans.”

“Well-”

“You’re blind, I get it.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re blind.  You had an experience so traumatic that the damage to your brain has caused you to go blind, among other things apparently.  Speaking of which, I’d like to know how that happened.  If you remember.”

“I was running away.  With Alluka.”

“You got separated then?”

“Yeah.”

“And then what?”

“Illumi…”

“What was that?”

“Illumi hit me.  And then Alluka had guide us out of the property, but she got lost and them Illumi hit me and then Alluka had to-”

“Killua!”

“I don’t remember!”

Suddenly Killua was no longer sitting upright.  He was some kind of sideways, and Gon’s arms were around his shoulders.  It was almost like a taekwondo hold to Killua, but there was no way out of Gon’s octopus arms.

“What is he doing?”

“It’s called a hug.  Gon tends to give the most enthusiastic hugs of anyone here.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Who’s Illumi?”

“My brother.”

“Why did he hit you?”

“Because we were leaving.  I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Look I know you might think I don’t understand, but-”

“No you would understand!” Killua shouted. He struggled in Gon’s grip, and managed to right them both, but Gon held fast.  “Alluka is trans too.”


	8. Chapter 8

Gon liked Killua.  Gon really liked Killua.  Gon didn’t know much about Killua, but he still liked him.  Maybe he was just trying to fill the gap Zushi left, but he really didn’t want to see Killua leave.  That’s why when Killua had started packing up random bits of food and fumbling his way around the house, he had gone to get Bisky.  They were all sitting in the common room, just a closet away from the dining room.  Gon liked this room because there was a large window that took up almost the entire wall on one side, and the couch seats were arranged in a semicircle.  It was the perfect place to be alone or with the rest of the family.

Gon sat a little in front of Killua so he could see what he was saying.  Killua was somewhat frantic, and it concerned Gon.  Granted, Killua seemed to swing between quiet passivity and manic confusion so Gon was testing what was okay when.  Killua said he didn’t like the hug, but in Gon’s rather educated opinion on hugs of all kinds, Killua just wasn’t used to hugs.

Gon was a little surprised to learn that Killua had a sister who was trans, but his story made sense.  Transphobic parents, one brother trying to keep another in line, the other trying to protect a sister, both trained in marital arts.  Gon marveled a moment at how romantic it all sounded, then reprimanded himself.  Sure, to him it might sound like some high tragedy, but to Killua it was a real, physical thing.  He was blind now, and had nothing to show for it.

“That is a problem, now isn’t it?” Bisky said.  She’d given up signing everything, as the back and forth was a little too fast for her to keep up with, but Gon knew if he asked, she’d clarify for him.  Killua didn’t respond.  Gon loosened his arms around Killua.  Was he crying again?

“Assuming you’re both under eighteen, which I’m assuming you are, we might be able to prove them abusive and get parental rights over you and your sister.  How many younger siblings do you have?”

“Two.”

“Older siblings under eighteen?”

“It doesn’t matter.  You can’t take on three more kids.  I heard what Knov said when you picked me up.  You don’t have the money.  This isn’t your problem.”

Gon saw Bisky’s jaw clench.  Killua didn’t know, but he’d stepped on a sore spot for Bisky.  Gon sighed.

“I don’t know if yo’ve realized this Killua, but you have slept in our beds, cleaned yourself in our baths, and eaten our food.  You’re part of the family whether you want to be or not.  That means your problems are our problems too.”

Gon felt Killua’s arms tense as he clenched his fists.  He slipped his arms off from around Killua’s upper arms to take Killua’s hand again.  Maybe if he could force Killua’s hands to relax, the rest of him would too.  Gon knew it wouldn’t work, but he did it anyway.

“You don’t have enough money,” Killua said silently.

“We have a rule here that says no one under the age of seventeen gets to even think about money.  That shouldn’t be your priority.  Let us handle that.  You won’t ever want for necessities here.”

“No, you don’t have the funds.  You can’t fight my parents legally without money.  You can’t…”  Killua licked his lips.  “My last name is-”

Killua’s last name was unintelligible to Gon.  It looked like maybe it was “Holbick”, but that was a weird last name.  He gave Bisky a curious look so she could spell it out for him, but Bisky’s eyes were fixed on Killua.  Gon had only seen her this surprised a few times before, and honestly it was extremely uncomfortable.  Bisky was supposed to be prepared.  She was supposed to know everything.  Gon knew those weren’t exactly realistic expectations, but it was Bisky.  She wasn’t realistic to begin with.  Her jaw clenched again.

“Shit,” was all she said.

“What’s the matter?” Gon asked.

Bisky huffed, and then signed, “His full name is K-I-L-L-U-A Z-O-L-D-Y-C-K.”

“Z-O-L-D-Y-C-K?  Like the famous lawyers?”

“Yes.”  Gon looked at Killua, who, now that he had his hands back to himself, was covering his eyes and leaning his elbows on his knees.

“Well,” Bisky said.  “You’re right.  We might not be able to do this legally.”  Killua looked up.  “But we’re still gonna try our god damned hardest.  No kid should grow up with parents who can’t stand her.”

“M-my younger brother.  Kalluto.  He’s not in immediate danger right now, but-”

“He could be in the future?”

“Yeah.  He’s been experimenting with, uh, fashion choices my parents probably wouldn’t approve of.”

“Can you try and remember what actually happened when you tried to leave?”

Gon couldn’t tell what Killua said next because he kept his teeth together.

“I know, but Killua, we need to know.  Did you get those bruises from actually sparring, or did you get them the same time you lost your vision?”

“I’m not blind,” Killua said forcefully.

“Yes you are.”

“Shit,” Killua responded.  He wiped a hand over his face.  “I’m blind.”

“I’m gonna have Leorio see if he can find us some medical text books dealing with cortical blindness.  I wish we had a way to get you and MRI scan, because I think the damage is more severe than you realize.  I’ll ask Leorio.”

“I don’t want to be blind.”

“I know Killua.”

“I need to get Alluka.”

“I know.  We’ll do our best.”

Gon took Killua’s hand again.  He was ready to help in any way he possibly could.  Gon would be lying if he said he didn’t have a bit of a white knight complex.  Killua needed help though.  Like real actual help!  And it wasn’t that Gon thought Killua was _broken_ or anything like that.  Actually, by most people’s standards he probably was broken, but he was only as broken as anyone else in the house.  That’s why they all lived together.  They were making up for each other’s inefficiencies and quirks.  Killua might not be used to that yet, but Gon could definitely help with that, even if he couldn’t help with Alluka.

And he knew it probably wouldn’t be fun all the time.  From what Gon could tell, Killua’s problems were similar to Knov’s and Komugi’s.  Knov had a hard time recalling things and often got frustrated when he remembered that he couldn’t decipher writing or when he bumped into doors and knocked over cups.  Komugi literally could not leave Meruem’s side for both of their sakes.  She had given up her own education so that Meruem could go to a special school without feeling abandoned, just like Killua gave up his sight and home to ensure the safety of his sister.

But that didn’t seem like too much.  Afterall, Gon had decided that he liked Killua.


	9. Chapter 9

When Leorio got back from class later that evening, Knuckle was sitting at the kitchen table with Bisky.  They both had papers spread out around them and they were bickering quietly over something.  Leorio set his book bag down by the table and sat down next to Bisky.

“I got the books you wanted.”

“Hmm,” was all she said.  Her eyes were focused on the paper in her hand.  Knuckle slid a few more sheets over to her and tapped them with a single finger.

“All I’m saying is that if we cut down on electricity and water, we could support another kid.”

“That’s counter intuitive.  If we have another kid, we’re gonna need more water and electricity.  That also doesn’t solve the fact that we literally don’t have any more room!”

“She could sleep with Killua, couldn’t she?  They’re siblings.”

“Killua’s fifteen.  He’s not gonna want to sleep with his sister.  Even if he did, he’s gonna need his own room soon enough anyway.”

“Well I’m gonna stop eating here.”

“Can you afford to eat on your own?” Bisky glanced up with a cocked eyebrow.  Leorio watched as Knuckle frowned back at her.

“Of course I can afford to eat!  I’m more worried about you guys than I am myself!  Honestly I shouldn’t even be eating here anyway.  I’m surprised I haven’t stopped already!”

The corner of Bisky’s mouth twitched up as she looked back down at the financial papers.  Leorio poked her in the shoulder.

“Hey I got those books you wanted.  It’s some pretty on the jargon though.”

“Okay.”

“Hey,” Leorio poked a little harder.  “Don’t ask me for favors if you’re not even gonna be grateful.”

“Hmm?  Oh, sorry Leorio.  You got the books?”

“Yes.” He said directly.  He leaned over and pulled two heavy medical books out of his backpack, then dropped them on the table.  “I gotta actually sit down and read these.  Like thoroughly.  There’s a lot of medical terminology and stuff that I’m not as familiar with.”

“Take your time.  We aren’t actually gonna be able to _do_ much for a while anyway.”

“What’s all this about another kid?  Killua’s got a sister?”

“Yeah,” Bisky sighed.  Knuckle glanced up, but didn’t say anything.  “Killua is a Zoldyck.”

Leorio felt his eyebrows raise.  He pushed his glassed up his nose and said, “Oh.”

“Yeah.  His parents are transphobic, and he just so happens to have a trans sister.  He lost his sight trying to get her out of there.”

“I take it he didn’t succeed?”

Shaking her head, Bisky leaned back in her chair.  “One of Killua’s older brothers is apparently a taekwondo master or something, caught them before they could get off the property, and managed to blind Killua.  But Killua’s having trouble actually remembering, so that story might change.”

“And that’s why you want the textbooks.  Or, I mean you want the info _inside_ the textbooks.”  Bisky nodded.  “Okay, but what happened to his sister?”

“His brother got her, he thinks.  He doesn’t know when that happened though.  He doesn’t even remember how he got outside the property gates.”

“Well judging from wat I’ve read, cortical blindness isn’t always permanent.  Maybe once the swelling goes down, his memory will clear up too.”

“Hm.” Bisky picked up another paper and leaned forward to look closer.  “God, I’m sorry, Leorio.”  She threw the paper back onto the table and actually turned towards him.  “I got so wrapped up in all this I forgot to ask you how your day was.”

Leorio raised his hands.  “It’s okay, Bisky! You got a lot on your mind.”

“Even so, I can’t neglect my kids, can I?”

“I’m twenty-two!”

“And you look thirty.”

“Rude!”

“How was your day?”

“It was good until you started making fun of me.”

“What classes did you have today?”

“Organic and Film Analysis.”

“Hmm. Two of your favorites, I’m sure.

Organic is a pain in the ass, but hey, it’s chemistry.  Film Analysis is the absolute worst.”

“The TA still giving you a hard time?”

“Yeah.  But he’s trying to be subtle about it.  Like today, when I came in late again, he made a comment, and then when he was talking about the timed essays, he made a face and looked anywhere but me when he mentioned extra time.”

“Well, maybe he knows English isn’t your first language.  You do have an accent.”

“Isso não importa.”  He smiled when Bisky rolled her eyes.

“What exactly did he say when you came in late?”

“Eh… nothing too bad,” Leorio waved her off.

“Leorio.”

“Ugh.  He just said I had better not disturb his lesson again, and to keep quiet while I clink to my seat.”  He watched Bisky’s jaw clench.  She picked up her stack of papers and shuffled them against the tabletop.

“You really ought to report him for that.  I’m about ninety-nine percent sure that’s against the University’s code of conduct.”

“It’s fine-”

“It’s not fine, Leorio!  You don’t deserve that!  You physically cannot make it to that class on time.  Your TA knows that, and he still makes snide comments!”

Leorio sighed, and she went on.

“It’s not like you’re there on the pity of others either!  You’ve earned every dollar, every scholarship you have through hard work and perseverance!  He can take his ableist comments and shove them up his ass!”

Leorio just laughed.  He kind of wanted to cry too.  Bisky and Jurapika were the only ones who really knew how insecure he was about people pitying him, so hearing her reaffirm him made him feel a sweel of emotion.  But he couldn’t let that show.  Not with Knuckle sitting across the table, acting like he was still studying the numbers.  As much as Leorio was grateful for him pretending, he still wasn’t as comfortable with Knuckle as he was with the other members of the house.

“I mean, it’s whatever.  The semester’s almost over anyway.  And I’m still gonna pass.”

Bisky grumbled to herself.  Standing, she glanced at Knuckle.  “Either of you want anything to drink?”

“I’ll have a juice if you got one,” Knuckle responded.

“Same,” called Leorio.

“Alcohol?”

Eash of them replied in the negative.  Leorio scoffedwhen she threw a shot of vodka in her own glass of juice.  “It’s only four!”

“You know that saying they have about it being a certain time somewhere?” she said.  Leorio rolled his eyes back at her and took one of the other glasses out of her hand.

“What are you thinking about taking next semester?” Bisky asked.  He knew she was mentally adding up the number of classes and the approximate cost in her head.  He hated that she focused on money so much, but he knew it was hypocritical.

“Well, I have to take at least one more English credit, and another diversity credit, so I’m gonna try and combine those by taking an African literature course.  And I have to take two physiology courses if I want to start the pre-med program next year.  And then another chem course.”

“About how many credits are we talking?”

“My scholarships will cover it.”

“Okay, but how many credits?”

“Probably like fifteen or sixteen.”

“You work yourself too hard,” Knuckle spoke up.  He lifted his glass to Leorio as he said it.  Leorio scratched at his shoulder.

“Well I have to take at least twelve in order for the state stipend to kick in, and then I have to take at least two word count classes for that ESOL scholarship, and then-”

“Look, buddy.  I know you’ve got this all figured out, and I don’t doubt that you can do it, but just be sure you actually relax this summer, okay?  Don’t push yourself so hard.”

“I’m gonna take an internship.”

“God,” Knuckle sighed. “You’re nuts.”

“You’re the one who’s nuts,” Leorio laughed back.  “You actually like math.”

“Math is fun.  It’s just frustrating.”

“Is that Leorio I hear?” a very familiar voice from the hallway called.  Kurapika stepped into the kitchen almost a second later.  Melody followed on his heels.

“It might be,” Leorio said.  He stood up as quickly as he possibly could, grinning from ear to ear.

“I was wondering when you’d get home.  I need help taking my arm off.”

“No you don’t,” Leorio laughed.  “Even if you did, Melody could do it for you.”

“Melody’s too short.”

“If you two are gonna get gushy out here, I’m taking my vodka juice and leaving,” Bisky said.

“Alright, alright, Kurapika, let’s go get your arm off.”  He turned to Bisky, “You want me to leave the textbooks here?”

“Yeah, I’ll move them to the common room once I’ve had a look at them.  And Leorio?  Try not to spread all that info everywhere.”

“I am insulted that you’d think I have no sense of privacy over such delicate matters!”

“Oh, just go!”

Leorio and Kurapika hurried out of the kitchen before Bisky could chase them out.

“As disgusting as they are, I’m glad it’s all worked out between them,” Knuckle huffed.  He scratched some numbers into the paper in front of him.

“You’re telling me,” Bisky replied.  Melody, who had watched them leave turned to look back at Bisky.

“Is Killua alright?  I heard some commotion after you left breakfast.  And I haven’t seen him or Gon all day.”

“They’re fine.  Killua’s probably a little emotion-ed out, but he’ll be okay for now.  Palm has been working with them all day.”

“I see.”

Knuckle opened his mouth to say something, but Bisky shot him a stern look.  The smile slipped off his face.

“Sorry, that was gonna be insensitive.”

“It’s alright,” Melody smiled.  “We all forget sometimes.”

“Yeah but it’s different when one of you forget.  When I forget, it’s highly offensive.”

“Yeah, well.  You choose to be here, so you have no sympathy from me.”

“I don’t want your sympathy!” he teased back.

“Well, good.  Now do your math, numbers man.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leorio is Brazilian! His first language is Portuguese and he says "It doesn't matter." If the translation is incorrect, please let me know! I do not speak Portuguese.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay; I've been really busy working on cosplay and meeting up with friends and the like. Thank you so much to everyone who's been commenting and bookmarking and giving kudos! It really means a lot to me!

Palm didn’t know what to make of Killua, if she were being completely honest.  Gon seemed to really like him, so Palm acted like she liked him too; Gon was usually a pretty good judge of character.  Killua was a quick learner, but he was also easily frustrated.  He had breezed through the alphabet, but he’d had a little trouble recognizing letters when Gon signed them to him.  That was always how it was for blind learners, or at least for the blind learners Palm had seen.  They were working on some simple phrases that would be useful for Killua, such as “take me to…” and “where is…”, as well as some basic directions and commands.

They were all sitting on the floor of Gon and Killua’s room, between the beds.  Gon was pressed up against Killua’s side.  Gon said it was so that Killua would “know where he was at all times”, but Palm had her doubts.  Gon had a habit of over-attaching to things.  That was why he still had Konta, the Teddy bear Bisky had gotten him when he first arrived at the home.  It was pretty gross at this point, but Palm glanced over the two boys’ heads to Gon’s bed, and sure enough, Konta was sitting right next to Gon’s pillow.  If Killua was anything like the bear, Gon wouldn’t be leaving his side for a good long while.

Gon kept signing into Killua’s hands.  They were working on directions, which could be rough because it involved moving hands across the body.  It was hard for Killua to really feel the words unless he held onto Gon’s hands as he motioned them to him.

“Was that left?” Killua asked, more to Palm than to Gon.

“No, left is an L, remember?”

Both Gon and Killua huffed out a sigh.

Gon began signing, “Can’t we just do it the way I do it with Komugi?”

“If Killua’s alright with it, I don’t see why not,” Palm signed back.  “It would probably be easier.  Do you want me to ask him?”

“Yes.”

“Killua,” Palm said out loud, “Gon wants to know if he can use your back instead of your hands.”

“Oh, yeah.  He’s done that a few times before.  That’s fine, I guess.”  His words were nice, but his face betrayed every insecurity he felt.  Palm could relate.  The idea of having someone, even someone trustworthy, at your back constantly sent a shiver up her spine.  She was glad she could at least see out of one eye.  Gon scooted around so that he was facing Killua’s back and made the sign for “right” across Killua’s back.

“Is that easier for you to understand?”

“A little.”

That was another thing.  Killua didn’t say much.  She was sure that he was more talkative then this, but she didn’t know how to approach him.  She couldn’t tell if he was listening half the time because he didn’t give eye contact.  Granted he was unable to give eye contact and she knew that…it was still hard to get a read on what was going through his head.

“Hey, Gon,” he said.  He had turned his head so that Gon could see his lips better.  “How am I supposed to sign back to you like this?  You can’t see my hands.”

Gon signed out from behind Killua’s back so that Palm could see it.  “It’s okay, I can still read your lips.”

Palm continued translating as Gon spoke, “And most the time I can sign into your side instead.”

“Oh, okay.”

“I think we’re just about done for today.  Can you show me what you remember?  Start with the alphabet.”

Killua had a little bit of trouble remembering some of the middle letters, like Q and T and R, but he made it through with little trouble otherwise.  His phrases were mostly good too.  Directions and commands were a little shakier.  He hesitated several times, even though he knew the right sign.  Palm mentally noted that down.  Killua was cautious.

“Oh, before I leave, Gon wants to teach you his name sign.”  Gon beamed up at her.  He probably wanted to help Killua come up with a name sign too.  It was kind of cute, if it all weren’t happening so fast.

“I already know how to sign his name though.”

“No no, his name sign.  In sign language, it’s common for people to make up a sign for their name.  Here, let Gon show you his.”

Gon took Killua’s hands and made a fist with one, and made the other cup that fist.  One, two…then Gon pulled Killua’s index finger out of the fist to make the letter G.

“Oh,” was all Killua said for a second.  He did the sign a few more times himself.  “It’s kind of like Rock-Paper-Scissors.”

Gon was practically vibrating with pride.

“That’s Gon’s favorite game, so I think you might be on to something,” she smiled.

“Oh, I get it.  You use a letter and some kind of movement or something?”

“Pretty much.  It’s the first letter of your name and usually a physical characteristic.  Like this is mine.”  She made a letter P with his hand and placed it over his left eye.

“Is that the eye you’re blind in?”

“Yup.  But you know, now that Gon’s mentioned it, you’re gonna have some homework to do.”

“Gon!” Killua groaned.  Gon just beamed harder, if that was even possible.

“I want you to learn at least five other tenants’ name signs before tomorrow.  You think you can do that?”

“I mean, yeah, if Gon will help me.”

“I don’t think that will be an issue, will it Gon?”

“No!” Gon signed.

“Also, I want to see what you can come up with for your own name.  It’s important that Gon and I be able to gossip about you after all.”

“O-oh,” Killua stuttered.  “Okay.”

“I’m just kidding, Killua.”

“I know.”

Palm took a moment to stand, then headed to the door.  That was another thing.  Palm couldn’t tell when Killua would take a joke seriously or whether he’d come right back at her with some kind of witty retort.  It was a little frustrating, but everyone in the house had their moments.  She just needed time to figure him out a little better.  She stopped at the door frame.

“I’ll come back up to let you know when dinner’s ready.”

“Okay,” Killua said.

“See you soon!” Gon signed.

She closed the door after herself and sighed.  Maybe if she was lucky, Bisky would make her a gin and tonic.


	11. Chapter 11

Gon started pulling on Killua’s sleeve almost the second after Palm left.  He probably should have expected Gon to want to start on the homework right away.  Sighing, he let Gon pull him out of the room.

“Hey,” Killua pulled back to get Gon’s attention.  “Hey, who are we going to visit?”

Gon put a hand on Killua’s chest and began signing.  “L-E-O-R-I-O…K-U-R-A-”

“Leorio and Kurapika?”

Gon’s fist nodded.

“Can’t you just tell me their name signs or something?”

“No.”

“Why not?  Wouldn’t that be easier?”

“Yes.”

Killua groaned.  Gon just kept pulling him along, refusing to answer Killua’s other question.  It only took them about a hundred steps by Killua’s count to arrive at Leorio and Kurapika’s room.  He heard Gon knock on the door, then some frantic thumping.  A second later, the door creaked open and a few shuffles.

“Oh, Gon.  Killua.”  It had to be Kurapika.  Leorio’s voice was much deeper, and he had those rickety leg braces punctuating everything he said.  “Oh stop that, Gon.  That’s gross.  Leorio and I don’t even…stop!”

Killua heard Leorio laughing from within the room, but he’d apparently missed a joke.  “What?”

“N-nothing. Gon’s just making fun of us.”

“Oh.”  It was silly, he knew it was, but he felt a little awkward having to ask, and a little annoyed that he couldn’t get in on the joke.

“So why are you really here, Gon?  Did you drag Killua all the way out here just to call us names, or-”

There was a pause as Gon spoke.

“Oh.  Alright.  Killua, you need something from us?”

“What?  I, uh.  I need to learn your names in sign language.”

“Oh.  Palm wasn’t kidding when she said she’d get going quick with you, was she?”

“I guess not.”

“Well, mine’s simple.  It’s just a K on the left hand.  I don’t have a right hand, so…”

“Oh, yeah.”

“C’mon in you two!” Leorio called.  “I’d get up, but I already took off my braces.”

Gon pulled Killua into the room.  Killua felt himself stiffen as his free arm brushed against Kurapika.

“Oh, sorry Killua.”

“N-no, it was my fault.”

“You…can’t see?  It’s my fault.”

“I can see fine.”  Gon’s fingers made a gentle pinching motion against Killua’s side.  “Oh, right,”he mumbled to himself.

“Well, come sit up here so I can teach you my name,” Leorio said.  His voice was much closer, so Killua looked to where it was coming from.  “Whoa.”

“What?”

“No, you just made eye-contact.  It’s a little disorienting is all.”

“Sorry.”

“Not your fault.  If anything, it was rude of me to say that.”  Gon pulled Killua up onto the bed.  Based on how it was dipping, Leorio was reclining against the headboard, and Gon had placed Killua between himself and Leorio.  A large hand took Killua’s.  He jumped slightly at thesudden contact, but Leorio didn’t say anything.  “Here, L shape with the right hand.”  Killua did so, and Leorio took both of his hands.  “And tap it on this wrist, there.  That’s it.”

“What does it mean?”

“Huh?  Oh, well, this is the sign for doctor,” Leorio said as he made a similar sign with Killua’s hands.  “And I’ve always wanted to be a doctor, so-”

“Oh, okay.”  Killua practiced each sign separately.  “Doctor.  Rio-rio.  Doctor.”  He looked up.  “Isn’t a little presumptuous to make your sign so similar to ‘doctor’?”

Kurapika tried to stifle a laugh, but failed.

Leorio grumbled a little before responding.  “First of all, my name is Leorio.  Not ‘Rio-rio’.  Second of all, it’s not really a _presumption_ , so much as a goal.”

“Oh.”

“I figure if people use my name enough, it’ll remind me of my goal and I’ll stay on track.”

“So, Killua.  What’s your name?”

“I haven’t, uh, I haven’t thought one up yet.”

Killua almost said something when it got quiet, but then Leorio and Kurapika laughed, and Killua remembered that Gon spoke silently.

“Gon’s got a few interesting ideas,” Kurapika said.  Killua could tell he was smiling from his tone.

“I’ll bet he does.”

“He personally likes the cat one.”

“What?”

“The sign for cat.  Like this,” Leorio took Killua’s hands again and made a sign close to Killua’s face.  “It’s like whiskers, get it?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“And then Gon made it a name by making a K instead, like this.”  Leorio used Killua’s hands to make another similar sign.

“Why a cat?”

“Hell if I know.  Gon likes animals, and he seems to like you, so.”

“Maybe he sees something cat-like in you,” Kurapika said lamely.  “Why not ask him.  He’s right there.”

“Why a cat, huh?”

There was a short silence, then Kurapika and Leorio began laughing.  Once they gained control of themselves again, Kurapika said, “He says that when you two were bathing, and you shamppoed your hair, it stuck up in two parts, like cat ears.”  He giggled again.  “I have to say, I think I can see it.”

At first, Killua felt a strange emotion well up in his throat.  He realized he wanted to laugh to.  So he did.

~

At the very moment that laugh left Killua’s lips, Kikyo Zoldyck slammed a door shut about three and a half miles to the west.  She let her long manicured nails dig into her palms as she stomped away.  That child was trouble enough, and now she had to deal with Illumi and his…acquaintance too.  Not only was this week a literal mess, it was turning out to be an emotional train wreck as well.

Alluka kept saying he was a girl.

Killua was missing.

Milluki had locked himself in his room in protest.

Illumi apparently had a friend.  A flamboyant friend.

And Silva?  Oh, that was the kicker.  Kikyo was on her way to yell at him again.  If there were ever a time to up in arms about anything, it was now.  But where was Silva?  Relaxing in the den, watching television like nothing was wrong.  As she passed a small side-table in the hall, she shrieked and threw an arm across it.  The small ceramic children and glass-encased time piece fell to the floor and shattered.

“That…Thing,” she hissed to herself, “is tearing this family to pieces!”  She saw one of the ceramic children’s heads on the floor, smiling up at her.  She growled, then brought her heel down swiftly.  It crushed easily.

“Kalluto!” she yelled.  He couldn’t be far.  Even in their big mansion, Kalluto was almost always within earshot.  Sure enough, a door down the hallway opened up, and Kalluto stuck his face out from behind it.

“Yes, Mother?”

“Call one of the butlers.  Someone’s made a mess of the hall.”

“Yes, Mother.”  He retreated back into the room.

Kikyo sighed and went back on her way to the den.  He needed to hear about Alluka’s stubbornness again, because apparently he didn’t understand the severity of the situation.  At least Kalluto was normal, she said to herself.  At least Kalluto was adequate.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay. I've been pretty bad for the last couple days, so even though I wanted to write, i just haven't been able to.

Killua learned Leorio, Kurapika, Melody, Kite, and Menchi’s names.  Palm almost laughed at how smug he was when he showed her the next day.

“You’re pretty smart aren’t you, kid?” she asked.

“Well, I mean, I’m no genius or anything,” Killua said.  He rubbed his nose and tried to look humble,  Palm had to stifle another laugh.  “What?”

“Oh, nothing!  It’s just that Gon says he thinks you’re amazing.”  This time, Killua went bright red and kicked his feet against the edge of the bed.

When he finally spoke, it was quiet.  “Yeah, well he’s nuts.”

“Hmm, I tend to agree with him.  Bisky says you’re pretty strong too.  We talked about you quite a bit before she had to go into work this morning.”

“She works?”

“Of course she works.  Almost everyone here works.”

“What does she do?”

“She’s the manager of a jewelry store.”

“What do you do?”

“I’m a teacher.  Gon’s teacher, to be specific.”

“Huh?”

“Did you think I just waited around until we got a new tenant to start teaching?  Usually Gon and I have a couple days a week where we work on his math and reading skills.  On other days I go with Komugi and Meruem to their school as an assistant, but I’m usually here.”

“Gon’s homeschooled too?”

“We can’t afford to send more than one person to the private school and Gon would flounder in a public one.”

“No, I get that.  It’s just that my whole family was homeschooled.”

“Yeah?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, I’m probably going to end up as your teacher too, so about where do you think you are, grade-wise?”

“Uh, probably like sophomore of highschool?”

“Really?”

“I don’t know.  I just do the work my mom gives me.  I don’t pay much attention to grade levels and stuff.”

“Okay then what books have you read?  That should give me an idea of where to start with you.”

“Uh…well, the last book I read was…The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith?  I don’t remember.  It was either that or Utopia.”

“U-Utopia?” Palm blinked a few times.  “The one by Thomas Moore?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”  She wasn’t exactly sure what to say.  Gon had just finished reading The Outsiders.  It was so hard to actually get him to sit down, let alone read anything.  “How about your math then?”

Killua laughed outright.  “You don’t need math to become a lawyer!”

Well that was certainly interesting.

“So you want to be a lawyer?” she asked.  Killua’s laughter stopped abruptly.

“No.”

“Then you shouldn’t avoid math.”

“I-I’m not avoiding-”

“Gon wants you to know that he’s not very good at math either.  We just finished exponents, and it was a struggle the whole way through.”  Killua sulked with his arms crossed.  “So what have you covered in math?”

“I was in the middle of logs.”

“Alright so you’re around the same area.  That’s good.”  Palm was just about to get started on their signing lesson when Killua began to look pensive.

“I can’t read anymore,” he mumbled.

“What was that?”

“I can’t read anymore.”

“Sure you can.  We’ll just have to teach you braille.  Komugi can help with that on the weekends.”

“But what about everything else?  What about signs and newspapers and art and people’s faces, huh?  How am I supposed to know what people look like?  How am I supposed to…”

“Killua, calm down.”  She was just about to stand up from her spot on the floor and go to comfort him, but Gon had been right beside him and took his hands before Palm could even get to her feet.  He began spelling words out into Killua’s hands.  Palm couldn’t see what he was saying, but Killua was so focused on what Gon’s hands were trying to tell him, that he forgot about his panic.

Palm let them have a moment, then asked, “Are you okay now?”

“Y-yeah.  I’m fine.  I don’t know what came over me, ha ha.”  His words were the very definition of forced.

“It’s alright if you’re not.  You just had the beginning of a panic attack.  You seem to be having a lot of those, don’t you?”

“A panic attack?  I’m fine.”

“I’m gonna talk to Bisky about this.”

“Whatever.  I’m fine.”

They were both silent again.  Even Gon didn’t know what to say. He held on tight to Killua’s hands.  It almost looked uncomfortable, but Killua hadn’t said anything.  Maybe that was what Killua needed right now.  Sure enough, Palm turned her head to get a better look at their hands, and Killua was clutching Gon’s back just as hard.

“Okay, well, did you come up with your own name sign?”

“Gon came up with it.”

“Why don’t you show me?”

~

How Hisoka had managed to get into Illumi’s room, Illumi didn’t know.  He didn’t even know how Hisoka had found the Zoldyck mansion.  But there he was, for the third day in a row, sitting in Illumi’s sheets like he lived there.  Illumi set down his briefcase.

“What are you still doing here?”

“No “good evening, Dear”?”

“What are you still doing here?”

He had appeared only hours after Killua’s…disappearance.  And he hadn’t left.  Not once.  Illumi didn’t know if the butlers were feeding him, or if he’d found one of Zzigg’s stashes around the mansion, but Hisoka hadn’t strayed from this wing in the whole three days.  Illumi was convinced he was only here to annoy him.  Illumi pulled off his tie and began unbuttoning his over shirt.

“I’m waiting for you to ask for my help.  Didn’t I tell you?”

“No, you’ve mostly just flirted with me and tried to make me argue with you.”

“Come now, Illumi!  You can’t tell me you don’t miss it!”

“I don’t know what you’re referring to.”

“Back in college when we used to debate together!  You were always so quick on your feet.  So cutting!  You can’t tell me anyone you’ve gone against in trial has been as interesting to fight as I was.”

“You’re here to steal Father’s files again aren’t you.”

Hisoka put a hand against his chest and scoffed.  “I am offended!”

“Don’t bother.”

“I would never try to steal the hard work of another.  However, if your father decided he wished to compare techniques through a mock…”

“I’m calling Gotoh.”

Illumi picked up the phone, and Hisoka spragn up from his nest on Illumi’s bed.  Illumi let him take the phone and set it back on the receiver.

“You wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss me if you knew that I had information.”

“…”

“…”

“You’re going to make me ask, aren’t you?” Illumi deadpanned.  Hisoka just smiled.  Illumi hated that stupid grin.  It hadn’t gotten any less shit-eating in the years since graduation.  “What information do you have?”

“It involves Killua.  Oh, I see I have your attention now!”

Illumi cursed himself.  He couldn’t control his surprise or impatience.  “What do you know?”

“Ah ah ah!” Hisoka jested.  He swiveled on his heel and retreated back to Illumi’s bed.  “I need something from you first.”

Illumi rolled his eyes.  “If you really want Father’s old case files that much, get them yourself.  You’ve always had sticky fingers, and I’m sure they won’t be too hard for you to find.”

“That’s actually not what I need from you.”

“Hm?”

“Are you familiar with the Phantom Troupe?”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say thank you so much for all the comments on the last few chapters, i actually got a little emotional reading them today :')
> 
> That being said, this chapter was a little tricky because it is told from the perspective of someone who is autistic. I am not autistic, and therefore, I might have misrepresented it. I tried to do as much research as possible about humanizing people on the autistic spectrum while keeping them realistic, but if I have misrepresented anything about this spectrum of disorders, please let me know! I definitely don't mean to offend, and any mistakes or potentially offensive parts are all accidental!

Meruem hadn’t had a good day.  Not only had Komugi been exhaling a lot on the bus and looking at the window, the principal had called him into her office again.  He didn’t really like her.  She was always angry with him, and she yelled at Komugi.  He had hit one of the teachers because she wasn’t letting him finish his drawing and he had already told her he didn’t want to do addition today.  He had said no, but she still taken away his markers and paper.

He didn’t get it.  Last week he had gotten in trouble for not using his words.  What good were words if no one listened?  He’d said he wasn’t doing addition, and he wasn’t going to.  In a way he was satisfied, because by going to the principal’s office, he had in fact gotten out of addition practice.  But he knew that Komugi didn’t like the principal either.  He felt a little bad for making Komugi go through that.  Meruem didn’t like yelling.  He hated yelling when it was directed at Komugi.

“Go ahead up to our attic and set up a game, would you Meruem?  I need to see if Bisky’s around.”

“We get to play before homework?”  That almost never happened.  Something was definitely weird today.

“One game,” she held up a single finger to illustrate her point.  “No more than that.  We’ve both had a rough day.  I want to relax a little, don’t you Meruem?”

He nodded, threw his backpack on the floor and raced to the stairs.

“Meruem!” he heard her voice call.  He liked Komugi because even when Komugi yelled, it wasn’t like other people yelling.  It was softer somehow.  It was better.  He liked Komugi.  “You need to put your backpack away first!”

So he trudged back into the kitchen, grumbling under his breath the whole time.  He raced back out once he had the bag back in his hand. He could hear Komugi laughing to herself.  He dropped it off in their room, then climbed the stairs to the attic.  That was where they kept all the games that Meruem liked to play.  At the moment he was still learning Gungi from Komugi, and so far it was his favorite.  The board sat in the little pool of light from the circular window overlooking the front of the house.  He sat down on his side of the board and set everything up, but Komugi wasn’t there yet.  The pieces needed to be moving, so Meruem wiped the board clean again and set everything back up.  He liked the way the pieces felt between his fingers.  They were smooth with a little dip in the middle where their name symbols were.  Before he put each piece down, he felt it thoroughly between his thumb and forefinger for any imperfections.

Komugi finally arrived, but Meruem wasn’t done with her side yet.

“Are you ready?”

“No.”

“Okay, let me know when you’re ready.”

He continued his work, placing each piece in the perfect middle of the starting squares.  Komugi didn’t say a word.  A few minutes of silence passed.

“The board’s done.”

“Are you ready then?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, my turn first.”

They started simply as they always did.  Meruem had to say his moves aloud for Komugi, but she was so good, she could see it all in her head, although Meruem didn’t understand what she meant when she said that.  Usually when they played, they said very little but where they were moving.  Today was very weird, because Komugi spoke up after only a few turns.

“I couldn’t find Bisky.”

“Where is she?”

“Probably at work.  But you understand what that means, don’t you?”

“She’s at the shop with the jewels.”

“No, well, yes.  But it means she doesn’t know that you got in trouble at school yet.”

“Okay.”

“When she finds out she’s not going to be happy.”

Meruem shrugged.  “Musketeer, 2-4-2.”

“Spy, 6-1-2.  Meruem, why did you get so upset with the Ms. Coco today?”

“I told her I wasn’t going to do addition.  She didn’t listen.”

“You can’t just hit people when you don’t get your way.”

“Why not?  I used my words, but then she was mean.”

“Who’s in charge of you when you’re at school?”

“Me.”

“No, your teacher is in charge of you at school.  You have to do what she says.”

“I don’t want her to be in charge of me.  I want to be in charge of me.”

“You can’t be yet.  At least not at school.”

“Why does it change when I go to school?”

“Because that’s how it is.”

“I don’t want her to be in charge of me.”

“I know, Meruem.  But you’re too young to be in charge of yourself.”

“No I’m not.  And if I am, then that’s why I have you.  Why can’t you be in charge of me?”  Meruem watched her blink a few times.  She didn’t talk for a few moments, so Meruem assumed she was done talking.  “Musketeer, 2-4-1.”

Komugi ignored the move.  “I-if I were in charge of you, would you listen to me at school?”

“Yes.  It’s your move.”

“You would have to do addition if I told you, you know.”

“Alright.”

“And I’m not going to let you make a fuss.”

“It’s your move.”  He didn’t get why she wasn’t playing.  They were done talking, but she was still…talking?  He looked up at her again.  “That’s fine, I think.”

“You’re going to fight me on it anyway, though,” she sighed.  There was a knock at the door, so Meruem crossed his arms.  If there was a knock that meant someone was going to come in.  He didn’t want anyone coming in because it would get loud in the small space.  He felt himself grumble when not one, but three people came into the room.

“Hey Komugi, are we interrupting a game?” Palm asked.

“Yes,” Meruem answered for her.

“Sort of, but it’s okay, right Meruem?”

“I don’t want to stop.”

“We have company though.  Don’t you want to see the other tenants?”

“No.”

The white-haired boy laughed, but stopped abruptly.  Meruem looked at him harder.  His name was weird and Meruem was having trouble remembering it.  Anyway, if he didn’t remember, it probably wasn’t important.

“If I’m the boss of you that means you have to listen to me.  We’re going to take a break now to talk to Palm and Killua and Gon.”

“I don’t want you to be the boss of me anymore.”

Komugi smiled and laughed a little.  Meruem liked the way Komugi smiled.  He didn’t care about smiles on many other people, but for some reason, Komugi had a good smile.

“You can’t just remove authority like that!”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m in charge of you whether you like it or not.”

“Or not.”

“Please, sit down.  What’s going on?”

The three intruders stepped into the room and sat down around the board.  Gon was holding onto the other boy’s hand.  Palm sat a little away from them.

“Killua needs to learn braille at some point.  It turns out he’s a bit of a book-addict.”

“You make it sound like I’m a nerd!”

“Loud,” Meruem hissed under his breath.

“What?”

“Meruem doesn’t like loud noises,” Komugi explained.  She looked towards him and nodded.  That was their signal.

“They hurt my ears.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Hmph.”

“I don’t know if we’ll have time to start tonight,” Komugi said.  She rubbed the back of her neck.  Bisky’s been working, so I don’t think she’ll be up for taking care of Meruem.”

“That’s okay,” the new boy said.  “How long do you think it will take, though?”

  1.   This boy needed to learn braille.  Komugi read braille because she was blind.  Was this boy blind too?  He was!  Meruem remembered Bisky saying so at dinner a few days ago.  He and Komugi were both blind.



“I don’t like you,” he said to the boy.

For a moment, no one said anything.

“I-is he talking to me?” the new boy asked.

“I think so,” Komugi said, “Meruem, why did you say that?  Why don’t you like Killua?”

Killua.  That was this boy’s name. “Killua, Killua, Killua…” he mumbled.

“Meruem?”

“He’s going to take you away.”

“He’s not going to take me anywhere.  I’ll be teaching him like I do with you at school.”

“But you’re both blind.  You’re the same.”

Komugi smiled again, and Meruem tilted his head.

“Meruem,” Palm said softly, “You know how Komugi is your favorite person and you two go everywhere together?”

He didn’t say anything.

“That’s how Gon is for Killua. Killua doesn’t need Komugi all the time because he has Gon.  Komugi will still be able to go with you to school and play with you here.  She’ll just take an hour every few days to teach Killua.”

“I don’t want her to.”

“But Meruem, I want to,” Kogumi reached out, palm upward.  It was an invitation.  Komugi didn’t touch him unless it was to keep him safe or unless she had asked first and he said yes.  Meruem looked at Palm, Gon, and Killua, then put his hand in Komugi’s.

“Okay.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick warning for mentions of trans based abuse and unreality near the end! Also, I apologize for the wait. It wasn't for health-based reasons this time! I've been trying to spend time with some of my spouses before I head back to college. Also I've been balls deep in cosplay crunch, so..

“I knew you were crazy, but now you’re just being ridiculous.”

Hisoka grinned.  “Illumi, dear-”

“I’m not your dear.”

“-I’m asking you as a friend!”

“I told you.  I don’t have friends.”

“Apparently you do!”  HIsoka knew all Illumi’s buttons.  Even if he claimed he was isolated and liked it that way, Hisoka saw his big dark eyes swivel to the left.  His grin grew wider.  “You still haven’t trained yourself out of that tell, I see.”

“You can leave now.”

“Il-lu-mi!” Hisoka whined.  He stretched out on Illumi’s bed.  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Illumi’s hands clench.  “I guessed you and your family would have information on them, but I never expected you to be on a first name basis with the boss.”

“That’s irrelevant.”

“It’s not.”

“I’ve given you an answer.  Why are you still here?”

“Because it’s not the answer I want, of course.”

“Hmm.”

“I’m going to stay in your house, eating your food and sleeping in your bed until you say yes.”

“Are you a child?”

Hisoka loved Illumi’s voice.  Unlike those dead eyes, it swelled with emotion.  Illumi sounded genuinely interested in Hisoka’s mental maturity, which almost made Hisoka laugh.

“No, just stubborn, you know.”

“You’ll get bored of this after a few days.”

“No I won’t!” Hisoka sing-songed.

Illumi turned to face him on the bed better.  “Father has told us not to bother with the Phantom Troupe.”

“And why would that be?”

“I can’t tell you any more than that.”

“You can’t say something like that and expect me to be satisfied!  If anything, my interest is only further aroused!”

“And besides, I actually enjoy having Chrollo as an associate more than I enjoy whatever misconstrued fantasy of a friendship you’ve projected on me.”

“To the bone, Illumi!”

“Don’t act like you really care.”

“I didn’t want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice.”  Hisoka sat up again to look Illumi directly in the eye.  Oh, he was as blank as ever!  How perfect.  “I have information for you.”

“I think you’ve said that already.  I’m not sure I’m interested.”

“It’s about Killua.”  The change in demeanor was immediate.  Illumi took a step towards the bed with his hands clenched and his black eyes wide.

“Where is he?  Did you see him?  Is he alright?”

“Illumi, Illumi,” Hisoka used both hands to settle him down.  “That’s not how a trade works.  You should knoe that by now.  Negotiation is key to our profession.”

Illumi huffed sharply.  “Fine.  I will talk to father about his interactions with the Phantom Troupe.  I will see if I can get in contact with Chrollo.  Im not promising anything until I know the nature of your information.”

“I suppose that’s fair.”  Damn.  He’d hoped Illumi’s emotional attachment to Killua would be enough to sway things in his favor.  The information he had was non-specific and probably wouldn’t help in the family’s search, but Hisoka had always aimed high.  If he could get something for nothing, he would try just about anything.  Including deceiving the closest thing he had to a friend.  But Illumi was as perceptive as always.  Hisoka heaved himself out of the bed.  “Call me when you’re ready to trade info.  Or if you want to go out sometime.”  He felt Illumi’s eyes weighing on him all the way to the door.

“You’re disgusting.”

“Only for you!”  Hisoka blew a kiss and shut the door.  It hadn’t gone as well as he’d hoped, and he’d wasted a few days…hmm.  Not to say he hadn’t _enjoyed_ pestering Illumi and his family, but he had expected Illumi to snap on day one.  Perhaps he was getting more patient?  It didn’t matter.  Hisoka made his way to the front entrance, strutting right past the suited doorman.

He ought to head back to his house a few miles away, but instead he headed in the direction of his firm.  All that teasing with very little payoff left him a little agitated.  He needed a case to work on.  He needed to utterly destroy someone.  He smiled at the thought.

~

Alluka sat quietly on her bed.  She hadn’t been allowed out since Killua had escaped.  There was a tray with food on it, but it remained untouched, just like all the meals before it.  Alluka was still having trouble processing what had happened.  Mother and Illumi had tried to get every detail out of her, but she’d ended up crying before they could even finish asking where she and Killua had planned on going.

Nanika sat at her desk.  Alluka didn’t know when she’d shown up, but knowing there was someone on her side so close was reassuring.  If it had just been Alluka, the room would loom over her, reminding her of what her parents thought.  Everything was so blue.  There were men’s soaps and body washes in her bathroom.  The only things that gave her comfort were her stuffed animals and quiet Nanika.

“Hey, Nanika?”

The other girl looked up from her coloring.

“Where do you go when you’re not here?”

Nanika shrugged.

“You don’t know?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“Crying?”

“Yeah,” Alluka said.  She wiped the remnants of her tears so Nanika wouldn’t worry.

“Why?”

“Mother was mean to me again.”

“Killua?”

“Killua’s gone.”  Alluka felt some bile push up in her throat at the thought.

“I miss Killua.”  Nanika frowned.

“Me too.”  Alluka needed to change the subject or she’d start crying again.  “Wh-what did you draw Nanika?  Canyou show me?”

Nanika smiled again.  She held up the paper and Alluka felt tears welling up in her eyes again.  It was a picture of her and Nanika each holding one of Killua’s hands.  All of them were smiling.

“I love it Nanika.”

“Not done.”  She put the paper down and went right back to work.  Alluka wasn’t sure what Nanika was.  She just knew that Nanika had always been there when she needed her.  Like now.  Killua couldn’t be here, but at least she had Nanika.  Alluka reached under her bed and pulled out the makeup case Killua had gotten her for her birthday last year.  They had kept it a secret, since mother and father would yell if they found out, but Alluka needed to make herself pretty again.  After all the questions and screaming, mother had cut off all Alluka’s hair.  Plus all the crying had left her eyes all red.

A few moments later, Nanika gasped.

“What is it?”

“Alluka is so pretty!”

“You’re g-gonna make me cry off th-the makeup!” she smiled.  Her shakily drawn eyeliner was already running.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So if you guys want to bother me on tumblr, or listen to me complain on twitter, please feel free!  
> [tumblr](http://bastetcg.tumblr.com/)  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/bastetcg)  
> if you have any questions about the AU so far or just wanna talk, send an ask, or @ me! I'm almost always online.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry it's been so long. I had a convention, so for like two weeks I was kind of in a con crunch, and then right after that I had to move back up to college, so I haven't exactly been able to sit down and write. But here's a new chapter! Enjoy i guess!

Killua was a very fast learner.  It took him a little less than two weeks to map out almost the entire first floor.  He still tended to ask for Gon’s assistance to places they didn’t frequent, like Kite’s room, or the offices, but the fact that he could actually make his way to the bathroom and kitchen with no help was impressive, considering how little time he’d spent in the home.  Bisky watched him from over her newspaper.  He’d been learning sign language and braille with pretty much the same speed.  He definitely wasn’t perfect at either, but he could put together basic sentences already, and he could read by touch, it just took a very long time.  He and Gon sat next to each other at the kitchen table.  Menchi was cooking for breakfast just behind them, and Bisky could hear Leorio and Kurapika arguing in the hallway.

“Gon,” Bisky signed and said.  She made sure he could see it, and he immediately turned his attention from the comic page and looked at her.  “Why don’t you take Killua fishing today?”  Gon’s eyes lit up, but Killua looked confused.

“You fish?” he asked Gon.

Gon affirmed against Killua’s arm.  “Yeah!  I like it because I don’t need to be able to hear.  And you should be able to do it too!  You can just feel when the line goes taught and-”

“Slow down!” Killua signed.  Bisky flicked her section of the newspaper back up to hide her smile.

“I’ll let Palm know you two won’t be in for lessons today.”

“Thanks, Bisky,” Killua said.

She had figured he was probably getting tired of lessons every day.  She knew how smart kids functioned.  Even though they could suck up information like it was a glass of juice, Killua was going to need a break sooner or later or he was going to get bored.

“I’ll pack you a lunch so you can stay out all day if you want,” Menchi said from the stove.

“But you’re gonna need sunscreen, Killua.  You look like you’d burn easily,” Bisky noted.

Killua groaned.  “I hate sunscreen.”

“Well I’m not gonna have you getting skin cancer, so you’re gonna wear sunscreen.”

“Yes, Mom,” he said as he rolled his eyes.  Bisky smiled.  She liked that he considered her his mom, even if it was just a joke.  She tried not to think about his biological mother too hard, since her mind immediately started wandering there.

Killua hadn’t said much more about his biological parents.  Mostly he talked about Alluka and sometimes Illumi if it was necessary.  Bisky had done some of her own research on the Zoldyck family.  At first she hadn’t been able to find much more than what she already knew.  The Zoldycks were a family of very prestigious lawyers who very rarely lost their cases.  But about four conspiracy sites into her search, she stumbled upon some relatively reliable new information.  She hadn’t quite gotten around to asking Killua about its veracity.  It was sensitive information to begin with, and given Killua’s circumstances…

Apparently Gon and Killua had been talking while Bisky was pretending to read her newspaper, because Gon suddenly raced out of the room, his chair screeching as he propelled himself out of it.

“He said he’s gonna prepare,” Killua said proudly.

“Good to see you’re paying attention,” Bisky teased.  Killua frowned and signed for her to fuck off.  She laughed outright, just as Leorio and Kurapika walked in.  They were still quietly bickering about something, and Leorio held Kurapika’s arm.

“Sounds like the lovers are having problems,” Killua mumbled.  Neither Leorio nor Kurapika even paused to acknowledge his remark.

“Listen, all I’m saying is that you’re wearing this thing too tight,” Loerio shook the arm for emphasis.

”I’m pretty sure I’m not.  I know my body better then you do.”

“Well, I mean, I’d contest that,” Leorio smirked until Kurapika glared at him.  “Even if you think it’s fine, you can’t see how dark the lines are when you take it off.”

“Kurapika, have you been tightening the straps again?”  Bisky set down her newspaper, and Menchi, still slaving away at the stove made herself as small as possible.

“What?  No.  Of course not.”

Bisky raise an eyebrow.  “Let me see the arm.”  Leorio hesitated for a moment before palcing it in her outstretched arm.  After a moment of inspection, she glanced up at Kurapika.  “You’re a liar first of all.  Second of all, Leorio these little lined on the straps indicate where the buckles should be.  He used to do this when he was younger.  I thought he’d grown out of it.”

Kurapika went bright red and looked down at the floor.

“Why?  Huh?  Why do you do that?”

“I don’t know!  It-it’s better!”

“It’s not better!”

“I don’t know!”

Leorio sighed heavily.  He pulled Kurapika into a hug and gave a quick kiss to the top of his head.  “I can’t yell at you anymore because I have to go.  Just…stay safe today, okay?”

“Got your food here, Leorio,” Menchi finally spoke up.  Bisky watched as he took his food, a strange looking burrito thing, from Menchi, and then started heading towards the door.  Bisky glanced back at Kurapika, but was already gone.

“The hell am I supposed to do with this?” Bisky placed the arm on the table. Killua jumped at the noise of wood on wood.

“C-can I see it?” Killua asked quietly.

“Yeah, sure.”  She slid it over to him, and he felt around until he found it.

And that was how Gon found them.  Bisky could have laughed at how Gon’s excited smile dropped into a confused frown.

“Kurapika had a fit,” Bisky signed.  Gon nodded his understanding and sat back in his spot at the table.

“Oh, hey,” Killua said.  He waved the arm in greeting, and Gon laughed out loud.  Bisky, Killua, and Menchi all stared at him blankly for a moment.  Gon…had laughed out loud.

“Gon?” Bisky reached over to touch his shoulder gently.

“What?”

“Are you…You just made noise,” Bisky signed.  Gon slapped a hand over his mouth and glanced at Killua with wide eyes.

“Sorry!” he signed.  He did it against Killua’s arm so Bisky knew the apology was directed at Killua rather than her and Menchi.

“Don’t apologize,” Killua said back.  “I thought you couldn’t make any noise at all!”

“I can,” Gon started, but he got shy, so Bisky finished for him.

“Gon can talk.  He chooses not to though.”

“Why?”

“Well he’s been deaf since birth,” Bisky sighed.

“I’ve never heard words, so I’d probably mess them up really bad,” Gon signed into Killua’s arm.  Bisky had to clarify the last half for him.

“Oh,” was all Killua said in response.  Bisky could see that he was thinking hard though.

“Hey, Killua?  Would you go call everyone in for breakfast?  It’s almost done.”

“Uh, yeah.  Yeah.”  Killua hopped out of his chair and headed into the hallway.  He still had Kurapika’s arm in hand.  Bisky shook her head and smiled as she and Gon went to the long table in the dining room.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay first of all I am so so sorry that this took so long and that it's probably gonna be disappointing. Between school and mental health and personal business I have been really busy. And like someone asked on tumblr when this chapter was gonna go up and I was like, "oh! Definitely before september 30th!" ...And here we are. Almost done with October hahaha. Anyway, I'm super sorry, but I hope this chapter is at least satisfactory. I'll try and have something for the end of November and make this into like a monthly thing, hopefully with slightly longer chapters but we'll see lmao...

“Wow!” Gon said.  Or, didn’t say.  He nudged Killua’s shoulder with a good amount of force, but not enough to knock Killua over.  Through the weeks, they’d unconsciously agreed that a not-so-gentle shove to the shoulder was a gesture of approval and affection.  Gon had been really impressed with how well Killua could fish, even without sight, and he wanted to let him know so.

“What?  Is it big?  It feels heavy.”

Considering the lake a mile from the house was small, and most fish never got over seven or eight inches long, yeah, it was a pretty big fish.  He told Killua as much, and silently laughed at the smug grin that grew on Killua’s face.

“So, what?  You’re saying I’m a natural?”

“You’re doing good.  For a beginner.”  Killua’s jaw dropped in mock surprise.  Gon almost fell backwards from keeping his laughter in.

“You know, I was considering teaching you how to skateboard, or how to spar, but you can forget that now, asshole!”  Killua tilted his rod towards Gon.  After removing the fish and releasing it back into the water, Gon rebaited the hook.  Then he took Killua’s hands and threw the reel for him.  Letting Killua try to cast the line had been a mistake.

“Do I need to remind you about the tree branches half an hour ago?”

“I’m blind!” Killua huffed.  “How the hell was I supposed to know there were trees behind me?”

“Well, if you’re blind, how are you gonna teach me how to ride a skateboard, huh?”  Gon regretted his words almost immediately.  It was kind of hard to tell what would upset Killua when it came to the whole blindness thing.  He got that weird thoughtful melancholy look on his face when it bothered him.  He had that look right now, and Gon bit his lower lip.

“I hadn’t really thought that far…I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Sorry.”

“No, you’re right.”  Killua put the rod to the side and laid backwards on the grass.  “I just.  I guess there’s a lot of stuff I can’t do now, huh?”  Killua said out loud.  Most of the time he could supplement his statements with signs, but sometimes he forgot.  Gon had a hard time piecing together some of the words, and he didn’t really know what to say.  Killua was really different from him, so he didn’t know what Killua would find comforting, so he stayed quiet.  “I mean, I knew.  I knew being like this, being blind would mean I…stuff.  Like, you’ve still got…I guess I just didn’t get it.”

Gon tapped his arm and signed, “Didn’t catch that.”

“It’s just, it’s almost been normal,” Killua signed with a sigh.

“What’s been normal?”

“Being blind.  I can still do so many normal things, or learn how to do normal things, that being blind has become normal.”

“Oh.”

“So I forgot that there are something I won’t be able to do anymore.  Does that even make sense?”

“Uhh, kind of?”

“Ugh, sorry, this is lame.  Where’s the pole?” he sat up and began feeling around in the grass for the fishing rod.  Gon handed it to him.  “Thanks.”

“You know. you’re lucky some fish didn’t bite and drag my pole away while you had a moment,” Gon teased.

“Fuck off, I’m fishing.”

~

It was a beautiful day out, Alluka thought.  It was a shame she wasn’t allowed out of her room except with butler supervision, and only to go to the bathroom or attend meals.  She’d skipped the last two family dinners.  Illumi’s friend had been over and the way he looked at people made her extremely uncomfortable.  She’s rather eat dinner in the quiet solitude of her room than in front of someone who looked at her as if _she_ were dinner.  And technically she didn’t have to eat alone.  Nanika was there if she needed.  Nanika’s presence had actually become pretty much a constant over the last few weeks, which both unnerved and comforted Alluka.

“Amane?” Alluka called through the door.  The door opened and the butler poked her head in.

“How can I help you Mr. Zoldyck?”

Alluka cringed inwardly, but smiled.

“I need to go to the bathroom.”  Amane nodded and opened the door wide enough for Alluka to exit.  The stayed quiet along the way, their footsteps echoing in a hallway that was too large.  A few steps before they reached the white bathroom door, Alluka turned to Amane and said, “Tell my mother that I want to go back to school.”

Amane looked taken aback.  “I, uh, I’ll tell Mr. Gotoh.”

Alluka went into the bathroom.  She immediately began counting down the seconds.  She had approximately two minutes before Amane would begin questioning the length of time she was spending in the bathroom.  In that time, she had to throw her bras into the sink, scrub them clean wit hand soap grab last week’s bras from under the sink, stuff them into her sleeves, and hang the rest of them on the pipes to dry.  It was a risky process, but Alluka needed to do it.  She only had four bras, and they tended to start smelling after three or so days.  Not that they were even bras, really.  They were just old camisoles that Killua and she had cut up and sewn crudely into something that resembled a bra.

She flushed the toilet, and immediately got to work.  She scrubbed quickly, then wrung out the wet bras as best she could.  Killua had promised that once they got out, he’d buy her some real bras.  They get her training bras first, and then if she decided she wanted to get bras with underwire and padding, they make a special day out of it.  That had been one of the things Alluka had been looking forward to.

“Stupid Killua,” she muttered under her breath.  She didn’t mean it of course; Killua had tried her best, but she was still a little jealous that he’d managed to make it out, even though he was blind.  She wondered if their parents knew.  If Illumi knew, that meant they knew.  But did Illumi know?  She didn’t have time for this right now.

Alluka opened the bathroom door, and found Amane with her arm raised, just about to knock on the door.

“Oh, all done?”

Alluka nodded.  She was a little self-conscious about the bras she had stuffed in her sleeves and her shirt, but if Amane hadn’t noticed the ones Alluka had brought _to_ the bathroom, she probablt wouldn’t notice the ones she was taking _out_ of the bathroom.  Alluka sighed.  She was gonna have to start washing her panties like this next week too.  What a pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, come bother me on [tumblr](http://bastetcg.tumblr.com/) or  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/bastetcg)  
> 


End file.
